Now You Know

Why Do We Fall In Love With Certain People?

This is in the POV of an anthropologist, but idk her name.

As an anthropologist, I have long been captivated by one of the most striking.characteristics of our species: we form enduring pair bonds. 97% of other mammals do not.

In my previous work, I proposed that humanity has evolved 3 distinct but overlapping brain systems that enable us to fall in love & form long term emotional connections: the neural systems for the sex drive, romantic love, and attachment. We are all alike in having these 3 primary brain networks. In other ways, however, each of us is unique. We don't fall in love with just anyone. We have deep and idiosyncratic preferences.

There is much evidence that people generally fall in love with those of the same socioeconomic and ethnic background, of roughly the same age, with the same degree of intelligence and level of education, and with a similar sense of humor and grade of attractiveness; though, not always.

Among the myriad of forces that sculpt our romantic choices is what I call our "love map", an unconscious list of qualities you begin to build in childhood. Your mother's wit and way with words; your father's interest in politics and tennis; what your siblings like & hate; the values of your friends and teachers; what you see on TV. All your childhood ( & adult) experiences shape and reshape your template of the ideal romantic partner.

By the teenage years, each of us has constructed an idiosyncratic fatally of traits, values, aptitudes, and mannerisms that appeal to us. Then, when the time is right and we meet a person who registers on our 'love map', a cascade of brain chemicals is triggered that tells us with emotional certainty that we've found the one.

Source: {http://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200704/the-laws-chemistry}