Playing With Fire (Sebastian Vettel)

10. Guess Who's Back Bitches

Well that had been a lot easier than Mollie had expected. She'd totally dominated the qualifying session. Pole position was hers. Sophia would be starting alongside her, the two Ferrari drivers just behind them.

Where the driving was concerned Mollie felt like she'd never been away. In every other way she felt isolated and alone. The others were trying their best but there was something inside of her that was holding her back.

Apart from Sophia she didn't want to let anyone close to her. Even Joel and Cassie were held at arms length. Sophia had been in the accident. She knew how it felt. So did Emilia Koskinen, but Mollie didn't really know her that well.

She switched the television on in her room to watch F1 qualifying whilst she chilled before the race. She was rooting for Luca and Will. The Thorne cars were looking strong. If things had been different she would have been part of their team. When she'd fled, she'd also given up the reserve driver job. She didn't expect to be offered it again. There were too many talented male drivers, with age on their side, coming through the ranks.

She'd be 29 later this month, and she knew that her chances of making it to F1 had all but gone. This was it for her. So she was going to give it her all and be the best. She wasn't big headed but she couldn't see anyone on this year's grid that could stop her from winning. The only one that ever really gave her a fight was Elena. The only way she was going to lose the title this year was if her own demons defeated her.

She gave a small cheer as she saw Will end Q3 in sixth and Luca in ninth. Great result for her old friends. She knew she'd have to start getting ready soon. The F3 race would start shortly. Then it would be their turn.

Then suddenly she heard his voice. He'd qualified on pole and was now speaking to Johnny Herbert. He looked so bloody gorgeous and Mollie found herself missing him more than ever. He must have shaved since the last race, as only a bit of designer stubble was present. Once again she thought about how beautiful his eyes were.

She wondered if he was fucking anyone. Maybe one of her fellow drivers? She shook her head. She couldn't think these things. It was none of her business. Seb could do whatever,and whoever, he wanted.

There was a knock on the door.

"Come in," she called. Cassie popped her head around.

"You ok? Thought I'd check. It's not like you to shut yourself away like this."

"Cass, I'm fine. This is me now. I need this space. I'm not the Mollie I was. I'm ok though. Just different."

Cassie smiled and left Mollie to it. As she walked back down the stairs to hospitality she felt guilty again about keeping Seb's message from Mollie. Then she pushed the guilt away. Mollie didn't need to know. It would just distract her from the job she was there to do.

It's not as if Mollie would have agreed to see him anyway. She'd made it clear that she was done with the German driver. No, it was for the best. Maybe he had now got the message and would stay away from Mollie. She didn't need him. She had her team, and she had Cassie, and that's all she needed.

***

Mollie took the chequered flag a good 14 seconds before anyone else. She'd totally dominated the race, as she had qualifying. Sophia finished in second, ahead of Amelie Giroud. She pulled into park ferme and saw her team waiting for her. As she climbed out of the car she felt no satisfaction. She walked over to them and high-fived them all, resisting their attempts to hug her.

Joel was worried. This was not Mollie. She always celebrated hard with her team. Something wasn't right. Did that day in Abu Dhabi still haunt her? The driving skills were still there, but she just seemed to be so cold and clinical. Where was the Mollie they all knew and loved? She'd been warm, loving and worshipped by them all. This Mollie...he didn't know her. He hoped it was just a case of getting used to being back. He was sure once she'd had a few races her old self would re-emerge. At least he hoped so. He guessed only time would tell.

***

Seb watched the screen as Mollie stood on the top step of the podium. She was back where she belonged but she didn't seem happy about it. Her face betrayed no emotions. She'd always been an open book before. Now she was acting as if she was on autopilot. Was this what the accident had done to her? Or was this because of him?

"Wow, that was some drive," Lance said behind him.

"Yeah," Seb agreed.

"I don't know what happened between you two Seb, but for what it's worth I think that you can sort it. You obviously still love her."

"Lance, you don't understand. Yes, I love her, I always will, but it's not down to me whether we get back together. I fucked up bad, and she will never forgive me."

"Seb, I may not understand exactly but what I know is if you want something bad enough then you don't give up at the first hurdle. Or even the second. You never give up until every single avenue has been exhausted. Why are you not fighting for her?"

"She told me she never wants to see me again. I'm respecting that." Lance shook his head.

"That's not the Seb I know. The Seb I know would be fighting tooth and nail to prove to her that he loved her. What have you got to lose buddy?"

Seb returned his attention to the screen as Lance made his way to his driver's room. Was Lance right? Should he have given up like he did? Maybe if he'd have persevered he could have won her back.

He knew he'd been in the wrong. Grief had turned him into someone he hadn't recognised. He had been shocked by how hard Elena's death had hit him. He hadn't been in love with her anymore but after so many years together he'd still been affected deeply. The trouble is he'd let it come between him and Mollie. He should have been there for her. He'd let her down.

He didn't know what to do for the best. He wanted more than anything to have her back in his life. He missed their kisses, their cuddles, just laying there together, not having to speak because they knew what each other was thinking. He missed being inside her, feeling her tremble underneath him as he made her climax.

But he also knew how deeply he'd hurt her. He didn't want to cause her any more pain. For now he would keep his distance. Maybe the future would bring them back into each other's lives. Until then he'd just have to be content with watching her from afar.