Damaged Heart

love or something quite like it..

She laid there once more, alone in the dark. Her body ached, full of pain. Her head was in a dark place, like a black cloud surrounding her. It consumed her every thought. When he mentioned the other woman's name, a knife was plunged into her heart once again. Deep inside she was lost once more.

Did he know what he was doing when he said these things to her? How it plunged her heart and mind into the black abyss. Her throat closed up and the sick feeling returned to her insides. She needed to escape this world, the world that was cruel, the world She thought she knew was disappearing at lightening speed. He had loved her once, she was sure of this. How had it just gone away?

As she crawled out of bed, the blackness followed like a shadow, a second skin. Each footstep her light skin took so did the blackness. It would follow her, it had seeped through to her head and heart. It was in every fibre of her cells, her nerves, in her blood!

Opening the fridge door, she screwed up her eyes to avoid the light. Reaching inside she took out the bottle of red. She knew it wasn't the answer but she craved something sweet, like blood running over her tongue before it slivered down her throat. One taste brought her surroundings to her. The kitchen was sparkling, had he cleaned before he left for the day? She laughed out loud. For the day? He left before the sun was up, and wouldn't return until after sunset.

She walked out of the kitchen into the front room, taking the bottle with her. The room was perfect. Everything had its place, all neatly put away. She sighed. It was too perfect! She placed the bottle on the glass table. Looking around everything was gleaming, the glass table, the television on the wall, no papers could be seen, the covers on the sofa, all tucked in to give the appearance that it was inviting. Deep in her mind she was having an episode.

She undid the covers and threw them across the floor, frantically she grabbed at the pull down on the writing beaurea and pulled out papers, scattering them all over the room. Her mind was spinning, she had to breathe, slowly she held her breath, then slowly counted to ten and exhaled. As she opened her eyes she saw the perfect room, nothing out of place.

Picking up the bottle, she walked towards the balcony door and walked onto the balcony. She was greeted by the smell of lavender, the herbs growing in the far corner, the begonias had now bloomed. The colour mesmerised her. Flowers of such deep red, like a blood red river of petals against the backdrop of the luscious deep green of the leaves. She smiled for a moment at their beauty. Taking her concentration away she looked over at the horizon over the balcony, she saw the people below, cars, lorries, some fool shouting, disturbing the peace of the early afternoon. The sun was high in the sky, there was a soft breeze that kissed her skin. Closing her eyes she went further to the balcony gate. Looking down she closed her eyes.. would anyone even notice if she left this cruel world?

Taking a sip of the wine she remained in the blackness that encircled her entire being. Her thoughts were spinning, how had she come to this point of her life? She had once had everything, it had all but gone. Now she felt useless, a drain on society.

A single tear ran down her cheek, as her foot went onto the small stool someone touched her arm gently. She looked behind her and there was that familiar face. The tanned skin, the blue eyes that searched her very soul. His smile had reached her fragile heart. He took two steps and in a matter of seconds she was in his arms, crying and saying sorry. He caressed her hair, as if patting it down to straighten all the cracks in her head...