The Unusual Thoughts of November (On Hold)

Chapter Seven

:- C H A P T E R   S E V E N -:

There is a moth is fluttering around the light in my room.

I can't stand this.

I stand up on my bed and crush the moth into the ceiling. It turns to dust beneath my hand. I stare at the substance on my fingertips. The Loop. The moth was stuck in a loop. I clench my fists; my nails dig into my palms. I slap my hands over my mouth and scream into them. No sound escapes. My breathing quickens and suddenly I'm in the kitchen. I reach for the top cupboard and retrieve some kind of spirit. My hands shake as I rummage through the draws in the bathroom. Pulling out various bottles all labeled 'November Arkwright' in faded print. No jacket, no keys, not even any shoes. I can't stand that flat. Steps. Forward. Faster. FASTER. I run. I run past the dog that barks and past the baby that cries. I run until the road narrows and leads to a path that trickles alongside the river. I run to the end of the pier; skidding to halt just before it plunges into the darkness below. I scream again, loudly this time. Out into the darkness, but no one can hear.  It sit next to the bench as if it were close friend. Push down, unscrew. Push down, unscrew. I open the various bottles of pills.

"Fucking child locks," I mutter to myself as a bottle slips out of my clumsy hand. I take each pill with a slug of spirit. One, two, three, four... But I begin to lose count. They stick to my throat and my stomach burns. I continue until I can't take any more. I rise slowly. Painfully slowly. I pour what's left of the spirit onto the bench, drenching the brittle wood. I pull out my lighter but this time its not to light a cigarette, no, I light the bench. Flames lick the names engraved on the top slat. I smile. Am I finally breaking the loop? I sit back down next to the bench. For a split second I wonder what will happen if the pier catches fire as well but then I realise that that's not my problem.

"Holy shit!" Someone shouts. Footsteps quickly draw closer. "Jesus Christ!" A splash of water and a sizzling sound. "November?" Parker crouches in front of me. He must of used the water he washes his brushes in to put out the fire. "November?" He puts his hand on my shoulder. No, no, no. A shock jolts through me. I push him off and stand up.

"Don't."

"What the-" He picks up a bottle and reads the label. His eyes widen as he realises what I've done. "Shit." He looks up at me. "Shit, shit, shit." Suddenly everything starts to twist before me and I stagger backwards, landing on my knees. All strength gone; my arms hang pointlessly by my side. "November," he tries again. "We need to get you back to Leo."

"No." I whisper. "Please," I sink lower and end up cross-legged with my head close to the ground.

"I've got to," He tries to say it with courage but his voice shakes.

"No."

"You're scaring the living shit out of me," with that, he pulls me up and places my arm over his neck as he drags me back to the flat.

"How do you know where I live?"

"I know Leo."

Once we're back he sits me down on the steps outside and pulls out his phone.

"Pick up...." He groans. His expression loosens slightly, he must have gotten through. "I know, I know. Listen, I found your sister. No. I DON'T KNOW! Look, we're outside. Just come down," Everything is spinning too much so I close my eyes. I hear the door creak open and slam shut. Footsteps go past me.

"Parker, what the fuck are you doing at 4am with my sister!?" Leo shouts.

"No, no it's not like that. I found her by the river and she'd set a bench on fire and then there were all these empty pill bottles and I think she took them but I don't know." He says it all without taking a breath. Someone touches my arm and I flinch for a second before realising it's only Leo. I know it's Leo.

"November, keep your eyes open." He says gently, sitting on the steps next to me.

"But everything's spinning," I complain, opening my eyes slowly.

"I can't understand what you're saying..." He frowns. So I decide not to speak again. Leo's fingers tap quickly on the concrete steps. "Parker?"

"Yeah?" Parker replies.

"Call an ambulance."

"Wait, what?"

"I said call an ambulance," Leo's voice rises and his fingers tap faster.

"Okay, okay." My eyelids feel heavy and begin to fall slowly forward.

"No, no, no," Leo shakes me. "Stay awake," he says firmly, looking me right in the eye.

But I can't. Everything is sinking into darkness. Sirens faintly sound and I'm lifted into the ambulance. My eyes refuse to open and my body refuses to move. Hands graze my arms and chest and neck but I have no strength to push them away. No strength to shout. Soon sound ceases and everything is gone. The last thing I notice is that my socks are damp.