Hard For Me

02

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Daniel's POV

"Okay, you may start," my therapist broke the silence after a short interrogation.

I took a deep breath first before parting my lips as I try to come up with the right words to tell my story. He smiled, the corner of his white mustache even curved up. As if he was saying that I should take my time. No rush.

"Rose and I were childhood friends," I started. I clasped my hand as I try not to close it in a fist. "We were together ever since we were babies. And then when we're 10, we already learned the topic about marriage. And so," I rubbed my chin to calm my self. "And so, I told her that she was the woman I'm gonna marry. She agreed. She agreed and even swore that she'll also marry me when we're at the right age for it."

"Dan, sabi ni Mama paglaki ko raw ay bibigyan ko sila ng apo ni Papa. At magagawa ko lang daw iyon kapag may asawa na ako." Little Rose and I were digging these vast soils in my Mom's garden as we place these rose seeds she got from a store.

We were getting dirty. There's even a bit on Rose's cheek and neck, while I have most of the dirt on my shirt.

"I also heard Mom say that." I stopped digging and looked at her. She stared at me wondering why I stopped. "What do you say about us marrying each other? Let's make their request together. Hindi ko kasi nakikita na ikakasal ako sa ibang babae."

"Tanga," she smacked my head. "Bata pa tayo. Baka nga pagbalik niyo ng Italy, doon mo mahahanap ang magiging asawa mo."

"No, I can't imagine us not together. We were literally destined for each other that's why we were friends ever since we're babies," giit ko.

"'Di ka talaga magpapatalo. Hay naku, Daniel Russo!" She shook her head. I pouted. She could have just agree and there'll be no problems for our future. It will be already settled. We already have each other and we'll be with each other even when we're grown up. "Pero tama ka nga 'no? Pwede rin. Yayain mo ako kapag malaki na tayo. I'm an introvert. I can't imagine socializing with other species. I'll probably reject men either. So okay! Let's marry when we're at the right age to marry."

A smile immediately crept on my face. "Promise? I don't break my promises, Rose. Once this is sealed, I swear to you, this will come true. I hope you would do the same."

"Yeah, I swear. I promise that I'll marry Daniel Russo." She held out her pinky and I did also. We sealed the deal.

"And I promise that I'll marry Rose Buenafente. You will be my future Mrs. Russo, okay?"

"We were inseparable. Our plans to go back here, in Italy, before, vanished because our parents saw our bond." I placed my elbow on my thighs. "We go to school together. Most of the time, our schoolmates would mistook us for a couple. I was fine with that. It never bothers me because I was holding on to our promise. At the same time I.. I grew to love Rose.

"Not because she's always there beside me, not because she's my bestfriend." I looked down on the floor. Biting my lip, I glanced at my therapist. "But because I saw her as a woman that will complete my day. The woman who will be the mother of my children. The woman that I'll swear in front of Him, that I'll be with her until death. The woman that I'll love until the infinity."

He blinked and nodded, saying that I should continue. I was silent for a moment because this was where everything started going down. I can't handle driving back to those memories. But for the betterment of me, for my therapist to help me, I should share everything.

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