Hard For Me

10

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"I told my men to guide her back to the Philippines as I tried all my best to resist going after her. But after being away with her for almost three months, I told myself 'Fuck it. I need to see her.' So I hurried back to my home country and ordered everyone in my team to search for her. But what they reported made me stop." My lips parted but I can't utter anything. I shook my head and gulped. "She's.. She's getting married to Draco."

My lips formed a thin line as I eyed my therapist. He just slightly nodded his head. He wants me to continue.

I know going back through this is hella painful but I'm the one who contacted him to meet me today because I want to tell him everything just.. just to at least reduce some weight in my chest.

I thought by doing this, it would be reduced or something like it. But it feels even more heavy as I reminisce everything. I can't continue this anymore.

"What did you do? Did you barge into her wedding?" he asked after I became silent.

Ahh. Should I continue? It's painful. I never knew I'd be in great pain like this just because the woman I love doesn't feel the same way.

"No.." I slightly shake my head no. "I went there. It was a small church, very opposite to what we had. The theme is so like Rose.. Unlike ours where our mothers did everything. It's already starting and all I could do was s-stand at the f-far back, watching and hearing her voice out her weighty vow, promising sincerely to her man and to Him." I harshly massage my jaw down to the back of my neck.

"I was so full of tears, my hands were inside my pockets as I stand protrudely. And then.. And then a sharp punch of pain slice all over me when it was the time that she'll face their witnesses after kissing her now husband. Even from afar, I can clearly perceive the fear in her eyes. She even informed Draco and I saw how his hold tightened on her waist. I don't want to ruin anything more so I left them a small, sad, and painful smile before I walked out of the church."

My therapist nodded and recorded it on his notebook. He gave me time to pick up myself before discussing to me ways I could do to help cope from the pain. 

🥀

Today, my only agenda is to go back to the Philippines and meet Rose. I don't know what feelings I'm having right now and I can't pinpoint what is it other than excitement. I'm excited to see her again after a long time.

I'm already on the plane. I'm on a commercial flight and I got weirded out as the girl beside my space in the first class is all in black. Black sunnies, black scarf that wrap around her head, and black dress.

I didn't bother it anymore and just opened my laptop to get some work done. Upon reaching the airport, the car is already waiting and took me straight to Rose's company.

After months of persuading, she finally took the malls and buildings that I want to give her. This is not a compensation for what I've done. She truly deserve much more than anything but these are the only things I can do for now. Also, I cut ties with my and her family and exploited my dad's and her dad's businesses and renamed them to Rose.

All I need now is for her to sign these papers with me. My lawyer could've do this but I.. I want to see her.. For the last time. It's been years after I last seen her after she married Draco. 

"Good afternoon, Sir!" Her employees bowed their heads down slightly as I sauntered inside the building. A woman came to me and said she was Rose's secretary. She will guide me to her office.

"She's waiting for you, Sir," she opened the door for me when we reached a room.

I smiled curtly at the lady. That faded when I saw a Rose infront of a stack of papers, with a clear bump on her stomach. She is sitting on her desk while biting a pen and reading a folder. My steps halt and she noticed me 'cause she looked at my direction. Her mouth gaped.

"Daniel?" she called, still surprised. But then a smile slowly appeared on her lips. She was about to welcome me when I yelled her stop.

"Just sit down, Rose, don't do anything!" I didn't notice I was still yelling. Her eyes glistened after that and then she started crying. My chest tightened at the sight. "Hey, I'm sorry.. I'm sorry.. I didn't mean to yell, Rose.. Hey.." Lumapit ako sa kanya.

I felt like electrocuted when my hand touched her back to calm her. It's been a long time. Her scent invaded my nose as I got closer. It's different than before.

"Sit properly, lean back," I pulled her swivel chair so she could sit. My eyes squinted in pain when she have to hold her stomach and sit slowly while tears were streaming down her cheeks. "Hey, I'm sorry.. Shh.."

"Bad ka! 'Bili mo nga ako ng sili ice cream! Bilis!" utos niya sa akin. "Ay hindi, pasta na lang. Tsaka monggo shake. Or spaghetti na may macaroni."

I was left dumbfounded kasi hindi ko maintindihan ang gusto niya. Are those even foods?

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