Missing Piece

Part Twelve

Bucky had finally realized that he was in love with you, and he was determined to get you to forgive him for acting like a total idiot. He soon found out that it wasn't going to be an easy task.

You weren't mad at him, you weren't screaming at him, ignoring him or avoiding him; you just weren't his friend anymore. He would have preferred if you had been mad, seeing you hurt was so much worse. You still spent time together but either Steve, Sam or both of them were always there with you. You never allowed yourself to be alone with Bucky, no matter how hard he tried.

He had asked if you could talk alone so many times that he had lost count. Every time you would turn him down politely or you would come up with an excuse that you had to leave to go do something.

In your eyes, there was nothing else to say. You loved him and he didn't. He was very clear about that, he had pushed you away and you didn't want to hear anything he had to say because there's nothing he could say that would make you feel better.

Steve had encouraged you to talk to him but he was Bucky's best friend so of course he'd side with him.

As days went by, you started to close yourself up again. You spent a lot more time in your room and started missing breakfast and dinner with the whole team. It had taken so long for them to get you out of your shell, it pained them to see you back in it again. Especially when it was for a simple misunderstanding. It was obvious to everyone in the compound that Bucky was in love with you, and you with him. They sincerely couldn't understand how either of you could miss that. Some of them wanted to do something to bring you together but they all decided it would be better if no one got involved.

Bucky had tried everything to make you talk to him. He texted you, tried talking to you when you were out of your room, he even brought you breakfast and dinner to your door any time you'd be missing from the dinner table, but nothing. You never answered his messages, when you were out of your room you would join the conversation but keep your answers short and you always thanked him politely for bringing you food but there were no more smiles, no more hugs, no more kisses or jokes.

After almost a week, you were finally able to sleep again on your own. You weren't sleeping well and you never slept for more than a few hours at a time but it was still better than not being able to sleep at all. Bruce had even put all the tests on hold because he didn't think you were healthy enough at the moment to keep going.

Bucky could barely sleep. He spent most of his nights twisting and turning in his bed, losing count of how many times he had woken up looking for you only to find his bed empty. The few seconds it took him to remember why you weren't there were always painful. He missed you so much, it hurt. It physically hurt him to not have you around anymore. He felt like he couldn't breathe, like there was a piece of himself that was missing. He missed your smiles, your laughs and your bad jokes, he missed your hugs and holding you at night, he missed you trying to squeeze him so tightly that you would almost hurt yourself, always doing it to make him laugh when he was feeling sad. He missed watching movies and tv shows with you or talking to you about things he'd think you'd like. He missed being able to turn around and have you right next to him. He missed the man he was when you were around.

He missed you, and knowing you were just down the hall purposely avoiding him just made him hurt even more. He understood why you were doing it, he just wished he could fix it. He knew the other team members blamed him for your absence and they were right to do so. He hated himself for hurting the one person that had never judged him and had always protected him. You had literally killed to protect him. He was getting desperate and he didn't know what to do anymore. He needed you like he needed air and he wished there was a way he could tell you all that. All he wanted was a chance to explain himself, to talk to you and mostly to apologize to you. You deserved an apology above all else.