Catch a Glimmer of Your Star

I could only smile

The cold silence of the hospital room settled with Sunny, numbing his fingers.

Basil's blonde hair spilled across the pillow under his head. His thin, weakened frame felt delicate and fragile even for a boy who was already so gentle.

Sunny kept a close watch over Basil as he slept, hoping for any sign of awakening. Annoyingly, every once in a while, grey fuzziness filled up Sunny's vision. Losing an eye brought both pain and a significant loss of visual perception. The worst part of it all was that he could barely perceive depth anymore.

Several times over the past few days, he'd reached out, believing that the object he wanted to grasp—a cup of water, a fork, a plate of food—was a lot closer than it actually was. He nearly crashed his face against solid stone when his unsteady fingers failed to grasp their target, saving himself only by keeping his other hand steady on the back of his chair. Life would never be the same again without both eyes.

Sunny's half-blinded vision was not as painful as everything else he had gone through.

I lost my sister.

I want to cry and cry and cry...

Mari ...she's really gone.

His friends hadn't taken his confession well. When his words pulled open the curtain over his crimes, his voice fading into silence, a giant wave of sadness crashed over his emotions. Too much sadness.

He could feel the change in their mood. He could see the cloud that had settled over their eyes as they stared back at him.

A knot formed in his gut when he saw the flash of anger across their eyes.

"How could you do that to your own sister?" Aubrey spoke first. "How could you push her when she was right by the stairs?"

Sunny opened his mouth but the words failed to come to his lips.

He could feel their seething anger at him and he understood that words wouldn't do any good. He could explain all he wanted, that he didn't see the stairs behind her or that he hadn't meant to shove her with enough force to make her fall, but in the end his hands were still stained with blood.

"That's an awful secret to keep from us for so long," Kel said, his eyes glancing between Sunny and Hero.

Hero's face was so full of conflict.

"I can't believe you," Aubrey went on. "You killed your sister and you couldn't even come clean. No wonder you locked yourself inside for four years."

Sunny didn't know whether to talk about all the anguish he went through inside his head. He guessed that it wouldn't help.

"I...don't even know what to say to you," Kel added. But then he turned to face Aubrey.

"I think Sunny understands how bad he messed up. It takes a lot of guts to confess the truth. Maybe we shouldn't scream at him."

Hearing Kel defend him, Sunny felt a tiny shard of hope that he could be forgiven. He knew he could always count on Kel to stand up for him.

"Kel, I can't just forgive him for doing that to Mari," Aubrey replied.

Hero finally spoke. "Sunny. You...seriously...messed...up."

Sighing, Hero stepped towards Sunny with his hand outstretched in a reconciliatory gesture. "But...I sort of had the feeling this whole time that something wasn't right. I just never imagined you could actually pull it off. This probably ate away at you for so long. I'm glad you came clean with everything."

"I'm truly sorry," Sunny said, lowering his head.

But when Sunny raised his eyes, Hero had suddenly dropped his hand, leaving nothing for him to grasp on to. Maybe it had never been a reconciliation in the first place; maybe Sunny had merely clung too hard on to the false hope that all his friends would forgive him.