it's 5 a.m. now

Show Me

8:32 a.m.

After countless years of denial, I met with this petrifying epiphany
that the person I was desperately learning to love
that I had no clue what she looked like
and this fragment of glass
that had been ripped from the countless mirrors I had begged to show me
the reality of this prison, my body
instead it traces each blue vein
it slices through and drains me
it slides against my iced skin
in figure eights, the shard of glass lands gracefully
and I can no longer see the thing I was trying so hard to keep a hold of
my vision blurs and the hot tears melt the ice
and that last piece of mirror is left shattered
into thousands of pieces
and it amazes me how even the tiniest of reflections could only confuse me further
could only leave me wondering why I look like anybody but the person I only think is myself
and so I pretend I know
and I avoid my distorted reflection in hopes of it having never existed in the first place

.s