it's 5 a.m. now

Exhausted

3:03

I think there's a parasite in my stomach
It slithers around
takes all three of my bites
simultaneously making me feel satiated
it retracts
leaves me starved with a faint ghost of its trail only after does it climb up to my head
I can't scratch it out despite all my might
despite my efforts to not bite my nails
so i could really attempt to claw it out clean
I think there's a parasite eating me alive
from the inside out
She is guilty
anxious
She is nervous
disorganized
She is stuck in the same three places
How many doors do I open?
How many will she be willing to shut?
I know there's a parasite
nibbling at my head
digesting out the good memories
like the time my mami...
or the time...

I can't remember
Where is she?
The girl the parasite originally slithered into?
Is she stuck upstairs with the two bunk beds
in a room with a stench of young men?
Is she trapped in her brothers room
while he plays hide and seek elsewhere
somewhere
and the monster has found her first?
I hope she is nestled in bed
with her plushy
in her clutch
I hope she is full
because she finished her plate.