All I want

You took my soul and wiped it clean

Serkan opened his eyes and after few seconds od heavy breathing, he realized it was just a dream. The worst dream he ever had, but thankfully, it was still a dream. He turned his head to the left and saw the love of his life sleeping peacefully next to him. Serkan’s eyes filled with tears as he looked at her. She was still here. Alive and in his bed. Their bed.
Serkan laid his head lightly on Eda’s chest, only to reassure himself that her heart was beating.
He heard beautiful sounds of her damaged heart, the strong rhythm, that sounded like a music, traveled through his whole body, heart and mind.
He remembered the day her heart stopped beating. It was his worst day in his life. Five seconds before it happened, she was smiling at him with tears in her eyes, enjoying their first moments as a family. And just like that, her eyes closed and her smile disappeared and her heart stopped beating.
Doctors fought like hell for her life, and for the baby’s life, and they managed to bring her back.
Since that day, two years ago, Serkan always laid his head on her chest, he always checked her pulse. He was paranoid, he knew that, his therapist even told him that, but he couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t experience that again. He needed her. He will always need her. Serkan was born to be loved and held by Eda, he come to terms with it a long time ago.
He withdrew his head slowly and laid it back to his pillow, his eyes never leaving her face.
He recalled the dream he had and it shook him to the core. He often imagined what would happen to him if Eda died that day, and now he got the visuals. He knew that would most probably happen if she died. He would never recover. He would become a shadow of a man, just barely living
He knew Eda wouldn’t want that for him. He knew she would want for him to continue his life, to be happy, maybe even fall with someone else. But that was not possible. His heart only beat for her. His eyes only searched for her. His soul only connecting with hers.
Truth to be told, before he met Eda, he never believed in love. Growing up with the way he did, he had a reason to not believing in it. Nobody told him that he was enough. That he was a good son and a good brother. Nobody cared for him when his brother died. They just sent him to another country like a used toy. Nobody cared for him when he was alone, scared and lonely, missing his parents and his brother. Nobody.
So, to protect his broken and lonely heart, he built walls around him. For years. Even Engin and Piril couldn’t break them. Especially not Selin. He knew she loved him, that she wanted something more, but he couldn’t give her that. He didn’t love her, he never did. She was just a business partner to him, nothing more, nothing less.
But the way she abused him when he was vulnerable, when he didn’t remember the love of his life…He was glad she was in prison right now, but what about him? How could he forgive himself after everything he did and said to Eda? There were still moments, when he would cry in her arms, begging her to forgive him, while Eda tried to comfort him, saying there was nothing to forgive him.
But there were a lot of things for forgiving. If he remembered her earlier, if he treated her better, hell, if he didn’t went to that goddamned plane, maybe their baby would still be here, with them…
Eda’s heart started to beat again after almost ten minutes of CPR. After that, she woke up confused and tired. She felt something was wrong so they called their OB-GYN for a check up.
The most terrible thing happened, something that still haunted both Eda’s and Serkan’s dreams.
The doctor had put the gel on her stomach and searched for baby’s heartbeat. Minutes passed and both of them panicked. Hard.
Doctor searched for more in the next minutes but there was nothing. Just silence. Horrible, ugly, unwanted silence.
“I am so sorry” they heard her words, but didn’t reacted to them. Eda and Serkan have fallen in the nightmare and looks like they would stay there for a long time.
And they were.
And not only they lost their child, something else came up. Eda’s heart was weakened a lot after the crash and the CPR she received, so any stressful situation can put her in danger. Though she is not on a transplant list, she still had to make her life a lot more peaceful. And because of that, she can’t get pregnant again. Her heart wouldn’t take it and if she did gave a birth, she would most probably die.
Hearing these news was devastating. They lost their baby, and now they lost their family that both of them longed for.
Eda blamed herself for a long time. She grieved for their baby and for their family. She often thought Serkan deserved better, but Serkan was always there. To hug her, to kiss her, to love her. He was her shoulder to cry on. And she was his.
Serkan blamed himself too, for a lot of things. For getting on that damn plain, for forgetting her, for making her sad, for hurting her, for avoiding her, for her almost dying, for his lost son, for their family…
They were broken. Both of them. But this time, they were together so they could heal each other. So they can put pieces of their hearts where they belonged.
It took time. A lot of time. They often fought, for a lot of reasons. Eda sometimes didn’t talked for days, and Serkan often worked in his office for days and nights, trying to escape heartbreaks and sadness and anger that filled their home.
They didn’t know how, but they survived even that. Because, no matter what, they loved each other. Even when they were in ruins, not knowing where to go, how to heal, how to go on, they loved each other.
Their love won.
After two years, they were in peace. They loved each other and their son, Alp, who lived with them every single day. They weren’t angry or sad anymore. They were happy that even for short time, he lived with them. And now, he lives in their hearts. They didn’t considered him as their lost son, because how can one be lost, if he lives every day in their hearts and souls?
And their bodies too. They tattooed his name on their chests, close to their hearts, so even their eyes couldn’t forger it.

“Alp Bolat”

Eda and Serkan survived a lot. Many couples wouldn’t survived what they did, but they did. Their love is strong and pure, the kind of love you can see only in movies. They deserved happiness. And now, they will get it.
Serkan’s phone ranged and Serkan looked it up.
He froze when he saw her name on the caller ID.
It was Azra Ozdür, their adoption agent.
“Hello?” he greeted her, trying to calm himself.
“Mehraba, Serkan bey. I am calling with good news. Your adoption case was approved. Leyla and Demir are yours. Congratulations.”
Serkan’s eyes were full of tears. They are officially parents. Alp will have siblings.
Serkan woke Eda and told her the good news. They cried and hugged and kissed and than they ran to the agency to pick up their children.
Finally.
Serkan, Eda, Demir, Leyla, Sirius and Alp. They are a family.
But one information, which they would never know about, cruised through the universe and life itself.
Eda have met Leyla and Demir before.
They were in their mother’s stomach while the car where they were crashed.

Isn’t it weird how life works? You lose something, but you also get something. You lose, you win. The circle of life. Pain exist just to teach you something. Enjoy your life. Sometimes it will suck, sometimes it is too much to bare. But often? Often is tears of happiness, crushing hugs and giggles in the bed.  Life is full of wonders. And both Serkan and Eda knew that.
That day was a start of their happy life. And they never suffered again…Well Eda didn’t, Serkan suffered a lot when Leyla started to date( who could blame him?).


THE END

Author's note:

This was hardest part to write because I wasn't ready to say goodbye :')
Thank you all for reading this, I never expected this( over 6k views WOW).
Thank you for all of your kind comments, votes and everything else.
IYI KI VARSINIZ

A new story is coming up and I hope you will like that too :)

See you soon <3