Depressed Magcon Imagines

Matt

Author's Note

Feel free to scroll past this note if you don't want to read it. There's a story after this :) I just want to apologize to all my readers for being a shitty human and not updating frequently. My life has been super crazy and super stressful over the past few months for many reasons. I honestly promise to try my hardest to update much more. Once again, I'm sorry. Also, thank you to everyone who does read my story; it means a lot to me. 

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This week has been really rough for you. You've stayed up till three every night working on school work. Really, this whole school year has been rough for you. This week has just been exceptionally terrible compared to your usual shitty life. It seems like every year the work gets harder for you, and this year your life is consumed with homework. Your teachers hardly teach, and you are left staying up late studying, trying to teach yourself. Sometimes you wish you weren't such a try hard. You wish you could relax a little and be more carefree, instead of striving for perfection. 

Perfection. That's a strange concept. All you strive to be is perfect; yet, your vision of what is "perfect" is never quite achievable. Still, you push yourself to fulfill that dream of flawlessness. Perfection to you means more than simply getting good grades, being successful, having friends, and having the perfect boyfriend: Being perfect also means you have to look perfect. 

This year you've been working diligently, trying to achieve the perfect look. You've cut out all sugar, grains, dairy, and any thing artificially made. In addition to your diet changes, you have been working out every single day. Some would consider your workout routine intense, but you simply think of it as a necessary part of your journey to look "perfect". Every night you run multiple sets of sprints and complete separate workouts for your abs, arms, legs, and butt. As far as your concerned, it's been working. You've lost nearly forty pounds.

This week you've added something to your weight loss routine. You've started purging. 

Now, as you sit in the cafeteria, all you can think about is throwing up the salad you just ate. Your boyfriend Matt is sitting next to you, his hand resting on your thigh. He's trying to tell you something, but you can't get your ears to listen. All you can focus on is the feeling of food resting in your stomach. It feels as if you've swallowed a fifty pound weight, and right now, it is stretching your stomach out, making you grow fatter. All you can think about is the need to purge. The need to feel light again. Matt is looking at you, waiting for you to answer whatever question he just asked you. You can't look at him. You push yourself away from the table and run out of the cafeteria.  

"(Y/N)! What's wrong?" Matt said as he ran after you. 

You ripped open the door to the girls' bathroom and ran to the very last stall. You threw yourself down on the cold, hard tile floor and winced as your knees painfully smacked the ground. You felt your fingers being shoved down your throat, and your nails scratched the soft skin. Your body lurched forward, and you got rid of part of your lunch. You pushed your hand back into your mouth at the exact same time Matt walked in. 

"Babe! What are you doing!" Matt screamed. 

You had no time to answer him, as your body heaved over the toilet. Matt ran to your side and pulled you away from the toilet and onto his lap. You were freaking out at this point and started screaming and crying. 

"Yyou weren't supp-osed tto find oout! Yyyou ccan't even bbe in here! It's tthe girrls bathrroom!" you yelled at him, hysterically. 

Matt didn't get mad at you for yelling at him. Instead, he let you sob into his chest for a little while. He ran his fingers through your hair and rubbed your back, and he whispered sweet things to you at the same time. When you calmed down enough, he spoke a little louder to you. 

"Babe, I love you more than anything in the world. I have loved you since the day I met you, and I have always seen you as being the most beautiful girl in the whole world. Now, I know that you have lost weight during these past few months, but that has in no way made you look prettier. You were perfect before and you are still perfect now. The only difference I see in you is that before, you were healthier and happier. Being this tiny is not good for your body, baby. I want you to be healthy. I am so so sorry that I haven't done my job as being your boyfriend. My job is to make you feel loved, special, and gorgeous. I promise that from this day forward, I am going to help you see your self as you truly are--perfect. I need you to promise me in return, that you will work with me, and try your best to become healthy. I know it'll be a slow process, but I will be with you the whole way. I love you."

"Matt, you mean more to me than I could ever express to you. I am so thankful to have you as both my best friend and boyfriend. You always know exactly what to say, and I really appreciate that. I apologize for not being truthful with you. I promise from now on to always be honest with you and to always be open with how I am feeling. I trust you Matt, and I am willing to start to become healthy. With you by my side, I believe that anything is possible. You truly are the most amazing person, and I honestly mean it when I say you are perfect. I love you so so so much." 

Matt wrapped you in a giant bear hug and lightly kissed your neck. He moved his hands to your hips, and you clung your legs tightly around him as he picked you up off the ground. He held you against the wall as you straddled him and started making out. His kisses were filled with more than just passion--they were filled with love and tenderness, too. The bell rang, and Matt smirked as you two walked out of the girls bathroom together, holding hands. Other students in the hallway gave you both questioning looks, but you didn't care.