Depressed Magcon Imagines

Taylor

You stood in front of the mirror and your eyes scanned over your reflection.

"Hideous," you thought.

You focused in on all your insecurities and grabbed the skin that covered your torso, hips, and thighs. The number on the scale has been going down, but you still see the same fat girl. You noticed how your nose curves more upward than you want it to and you wished your eyes hadn't been so narrow set and that your lips were fuller and your cheek bones higher. You could fill entire notebooks with all the things you wish you could change about yourself.

But even when you close your eyes and momentarily block out the image of your body, you're still unhappy. Because lately, the simple act of breathing in feels like one hundred shards of glass are ripping through your chest. You have this numbingly awful feeling that you can't seem to get rid of, no matter how hard you try. All you want to do is cry, yet your cheeks still remain dry no matter how hard you try. Since crying wasn't an option for release, you turned to cutting.

It's only been two weeks since you've made that first cut, but now, as you look in the mirror, you can hardly recognize the skin that covers your stomach and your hips. Red lumpy lines are etched all over your body, but you can't stop doing the one thing that makes you feel better.

You grabbed your blade, still looking in the mirror, and began to cut. You thought of all the things that happened at school today and you thought of all the stress to come. Those feelings urged you to keep cutting - deeper and deeper. Blood was running down your sides and down your legs. You didn't mind, actually, you sort of liked it.

It was in this condition that Taylor found you. He flung open the bathroom door with out so much as a knock, not leaving any time for you to hide anything.

"Taylor!" you screamed, at the exact same time he yelled yours.

"(Y/N)! What the fuck?! Did you fucking cut yourself?"

"Y-yes. D-d-don't be mad please. I-I'm sorry" you stammered out.

"You're sorry? What the fuck, (y/n), you should be. You have a great life. You have friends, money, and a great boyfriend. You have nothing to be upset about. Why do you have to be such a drama queen?! God, (y/n). You always have to be the center of attention."

You were stunned by Taylor's words. You didn't know what to say. You felt so betrayed by the one person who you really needed to be there for you. You were trying to figure out how to respond when all of a sudden you felt tears running down your cheeks. You crumpled to the ground and let yourself sob the way you've been wanting to for so long.

"Shit, (y/n), I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. None of that was true I promise. I'm an awful person. I just was so shocked when I saw you, I didn't know what to think. I'm sorry (y/n). It's not true. Please don't cry. Come here and tell me what's wrong. I'm here to listen to you. I love you."

You reluctantly let Taylor pull you into his lap and you slowly got your breathing under control.

"Well lately, I just can't feel happy. I feel awful all the time, Tay, and I don't know why. And when I look in the mirror, I'm so disgusted by what I see. I can't believe I never realized before how fat and ugly I really am. I can't take this anymore! I hate this life!"

"Shh shh. Baby it's okay. I can't believe I didn't realize how truly unhappy you were. I'm so sorry. I failed you as a boyfriend, but I promise to try to make that up to you. I want to help you get better. I know we can figure out a way, (y/n), and I'm going to be with you along the whole journey. You're so beautiful, babe, and I can't believe you don't see that. When I look at you, I see perfection, and that is something that is never going to change. I love you so much, (y/n). I love you too much to see you hurt yourself like this. You have to promise you're going to do your best to stop."

"Oh Taylor, I promise. Thank you so much for staying with me. I was so worried that you would leave me. You told me just what I needed to hear. I'm ready to get better, as long as you're with me."

"Oh course, baby. I'll always be here for you. I love you"

Then, Taylor softly cupped the sides of your face in a way that made it seemed like he was worried he might shatter you into a million pieces if he touched you too hard, and he kissed you softly and sweetly. His kiss felt like hope.