room 213 • muke • boyxboy

0.4

ooh different point of view today ooOoOh okay bye -rylie ♥

you're insane

• michael •

i'm not insane. i swear i'm not. i am not a schizophrenic. when i say i can talk to dead people, i mean it. i don't just talk to them. i can see them too.

two years ago i was admitted to tanglewood manor because my parents would often hear me, "talk to myself." at night or random parts of the day. they asked me about it and i told them the truth. that the can talk to and see dead people. i've been able to do this for as long as i remember. i guess one day they had, had enough and left me here to probably die in this piece of shit place. they're are spirits that are nice to me and then they're are the ones that are mean. they tell me i'm ugly, fat, weird, worthless, etc. the angry spirits that died inside this asylum are the ones that bother me now. i have been cutting myself since i was about thirteen years old. that's when the mean spirits started talking to me. all the years before that, the spirits were kind.

i have deep dark purple, white, and red scars that lay across my arms, wrists, and thighs. some on my stomach. the deepest and worst one i have is played sort if vertically and horizontally across my right arm. i did it almost a year ago because i wanted to be free of this place. i had had enough of this. i wanted to be dead. i didn't want to listen to the dead people talk to me anymore. i didn't succeed though. sister june and sister edith got me into the nurse part of the ward and they stopped the bleeding then stitched me up.

no one has ever believed me that i can talk to the dead. everyone just assumes i have schizophrenia because they think talking to dead people isn't possible. anything is possible. trust me. i would know. recently i've been talking to new people. dead people that is.

the kid i met about four or five days ago...his parents have been talking to me. asking me for him to talk to him and tell him that they are watching over him. they can't tell him them self's because luke can't hear them or see them. only i can. i try to talk to him but there's something about him that makes me nervous. in a blushy sort of way. i get nervous when i'm around him.

i have bad anger issues so i have problems with lashing out on people. i am also bipolar so that really doesn't help with my issues. i normally come off rude to people because i, "ignore them." i don't mean to. i really don't it's just because the spirits are talking to me and i can't hear who ever is speaking to me.

well that's part of the reason i come off mean. the other part is because i'm not a people person. i don't like to get close to someone because i have trust issues. i don't trust people. ever since my parents left me here and didn't believe me when i told them who i was talking to. i haven't had the trust i used to have. i try not to get attatched.

luke's parents try to get me to talk to him and get to know him so that i can be their messenger. but i know that if i get close to luke i'll get attached and i won't mean a damn thing to luke. i'll only get hurt.

i have to admit... luke is a very good looking kid. it is hard for me to talk to him.

right now it was almost morning time and i had sat awake all night listening to the spirits talk to me.

"michael? please talk to my lukey today. help him get out of here. he is innocent." liz, luke's mum said to me sitting at the end of my bed. i sat up and sighed.

"liz you know i get nervous around him."

"michael, please." luke's father showed up sitting next to liz. i huffed. "he doesn't like me. he thinks i'm mean or weird or something i don't know." i mumbled.