The Art of Still Pretending

Twelve

Blair POV.
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   Yea, I just told Jake to kiss me. What about it?

Did it come out of no where? Yes, but it's fine.

   Am I completely shocked when I realize his lips are on mine? One hundred percent.

   But just when I start to kiss back, he backs away. "There, that's your kiss."

   "That kiss was shitty, I want a redo."

   "Sorry sweetheart, I don't think..." Yea, I didn't let him finish. I grab his face and pull it to mine. And of course, I start to kiss him. His lips are frozen, probably shocked that I am kissing him. The shock completely goes away, and I am flipped on my back. Now, leaving me the shocked one.

   I sigh, and push my head back as his hands travel downward. One to the side of my neck, and the other moving almost everywhere. I'm shocked when I hear a moan leave me my mouth. You can't blame me when his lips have moved down to the side of my neck, biting places that have not been bit before.

   I want more.

   My hands move down to his buckle. I let out a groan when he moves my hands, but gasp when he moves them up above my head and pins them there. "Not part of your reward, Blair." He whispers in my ear. He's teasing me, and it's nice and all, but also not. He lifts his his head from my neck and puts it inches from my face. "You're giving me fuck me eyes." He laughs, before pulling away and getting up.

   I am completely speechless, and yes I am probably giving him fuck me eyes. Probably because I want him to fuck me. "Did that meet your standards?" He shoots me a wink. He has no idea how affected I am.

   Now he's just staring at me, with his really pretty eyes. It's honestly not fair. And me being the dumbass I am, and the queen at making things awkward, I point them out. "I love your eyes." I know I've already told him that before, but that's all I can think of to say.

   "Yea?" He smirks at me, "Want your kids to have them?"

   I turn over and groan into his pillow. "You can't do that."

   "I can't do what?"

   I flip back over and stare at him. "You can't just do that, and then like not."

   "You're the one who asked for a kiss, I gave you more than that."

   I get off his bed and start to head for the door, feeling very conflicted. "I know, but..."

   "But what?" I don't answer him. Instead I walk out and head downstairs. I'm glad when I find everyone down there.

   "Natalie, I'm getting tired. I think I'm going to call an Uber home for myself." Natalie tells me she's tired, and decides to leave with me too. Jake is still upstairs by the time we are heading out the door.

And now I'm just laying in bed. Feeling very conflicted. Counting how many times my fan makes a complete circle.

Am I a terrible person? Not that I kissed Jake, but the fact that I enjoyed it. Like, extremely. Ok, maybe also the fact that j kissed Jake too. My thoughts are interrupted by the ringing of my phone. There's no caller ID, but for some reason I answer anyways.

"Hello?"

"You left." Why is he calling me?

"Jake?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, Blair. Who else?" He seems almost annoyed.

"Grumpy."

"I didn't do anything wrong, right?" Any trace of annoyance has left his voice, and been replaced with worry.

Besides be a fantastic kisser? I want to say, but instead say, "What do you mean?"

"You left. When I came down after taking a shower, you were gone." I snort when he says the shower part. I mean I'm not one to pet my own ego, but I think he took a shower to calm himself down, if you know what I'm saying.

"Yea, I was drunk and tired. So I wanted to go home."

"That's it?" He asks.

"Im confused Jake, what's up?"

"I was just nervous you thought maybe I took advantage of you, and you were upset. And so I was worried."

I laugh at that, "I told you to kiss me."

"Yea, I know but..."

"If anything you were drunker than I was, so I would've been the one taking
advantage of you." I think it's cute that he was worried. I genuinely think Jake is a great guy. Even if he's an asshole and all. "That's sweet of you, Jake. But I'm ok, I liked it."

"You liked it?"

"Yes, you're a great kisser." I hear him shuffle around.

He clears out his throat before he starts to speak again, "Ummm. Thanks, I...ugh liked...thanks Blair. I should go, I have practice tomorrow." I laugh at how awkward he's being.

"Bye, Jakey."

"Bye, Blair." He mumbles before hanging up. Where did Mr. Smooth Dude go now, huh?

   I laugh, but I also feel bad. I honestly don't understand his whole bro, pack thing. Ok, maybe a little. But I didn't even date his brothers. Officially...

Maybe I am the problem. And maybe I shouldn't kiss multiple brothers from the same family.

Do I tell Emma? Oh god... I didn't even think about that. I'm just going to go with no for now.

Just because I kissed Jake, doesn't mean there's anything going on between us. Just, very high sexual tension.

   And I hope it stays that way.

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