The Art of Still Pretending

Twenty One

Blair POV.
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I see my apartment from here. By the looks of it, we are both about to jump out. But then of course, something has to always interrupt.

I look down at my ringing phone, and then over the Jake. "Hey Emma," I say picking up the phone. Emma knows a little about me and Jake.

I've told her about the kisses, that I went on a date with him, that Grayson showed up, and that we decided to just be friends after...

I haven't really had much time to explain the parts after. Last time I talked to her, we spent the whole time talking about her and Noah. Noah, knows not to tell her yet. And Jake knows she doesn't know either. It's just hard to tell someone you're dating their cousin, kind of... again.

But I will tell her, I just haven't talked to her in a while. And I guess there wouldn't be a better time than now. "Did you get my text?" She asks excitedly.

"Oh shoot no, when did you text me?" I feel bad thinking I've missed her text.

"Oh don't worry, I only sent it a minute ago." I laugh, and she goes on. "But my mom just wants me to ask now."

"Hi Blair!" I hear Lisa shout in the background.

"Tell Lisa I say hi." I laugh.

"Mom, Blair says hi back. Anyways, we want you to spend Thanksgiving with us." My eyes widen and I look at Jake. He's looking down, doing something on his phone. We are currently standing outside Jake's parked. Luckily, Jake can't hear the conversation.

Last year, I spent Christmas with the Heart family. That's where I even met Jake for the first time. But now they want me to spend thanksgiving with them. Last year, I spent thanksgiving with my dad. And his girlfriend's, now fiancée, family.

It short story, it sucked. Like, a lot. Ever feel like a stranger in your own home?

   Because that's how I felt. Don't get me wrong, his fiancée and her kids are very sweet. But I would never do that again.

This year, my plan was to just stay and cook a meal for myself at my apartment.

   Lonely table for one.

   Natalie and her family are going on vacation, they actually invited me. But I couldn't ask my dad to pay for the trip. He's expecting me home for Thanksgiving and I was going to tell him I got sick.

"Oh wow." I say nervously. Why am I nervous? Well there's a lot of reasons. One, Grayson will be there. Two, Jake will be there. Three, Emma will be there. Four, Emma and Grayson don't know. Five, Grayson will be there.

"I know, it might be weird with Grayson." You have no idea. "But I honestly think it will be fine. Me and you can just avoid everyone and get drunk."

I laugh at this, "Ok yea, the answer is most likely yes." I look at Jake again, his eyes are now raised looking at me curious. "I just have to check on something first, but I'll let you know by tonight."

"Ok, great! We aren't taking no for an answer though." She says excitedly. "I have to go, but I love you!"

"Love you Blair!" Lisa says in the background.

"Love you guys too, bye." I say hanging up.

"What did she want to know?" Jake asks with a smile. Ok... This could either go two ways. Good, or bad. I'm hoping it goes with the first.

"Emma invited me back for Thanksgiving." Jake's smile remains for a few seconds, then drops. Ok, the bad way it is.

Me being the dramatic defensive girl I am, I decide to be dramatic and defensive.

"Would me going be such a problem?"

"I... I don't know." My heat drops at his words. Was he embarrassed of me?

"Do you not want your family to know about us?"

"Blair, I would call them right now and tell them if I knew what we even were."

"How do we figure that out then?"

"Do you like me Blair?" He asks.

"I like you a lot."

"A lot?" He laughs.

"You kinda make me feel some type ofway." I say, my cheeks turning rosy. "Do you like me?" I ask.

"A lot."

"A lot?"

He laughs, "You kinda make me feel some type of way."

"Then what's the issue?" I ask. Why are things so complicated for us? We are two people who like each other. So why can't we figure things out?

The dimpled smile on his face fades. I knew he was about to say something I wish he didn't. "Could you promise me something?" I look into his eyes. Ones that are filled with worry and nerves.

"What?"

"That if you see him, no when you see him, because he will be there. Promise me your feelings won't come back, and that I'll still be the one making you feel some type of way."

   My heart drops at the mention of him. I hate that he doesn't even need to be named without me knowing exactly who.

"I..." I look down embarrassed. I should say yes, tell him I promise. But I can't, because I don't know if I'll break it or not.

"That's what I thought." He sighs. "Then promise me this then, don't be around me when you're around him."

   Say something Blair. But I don't.

   "I don't think my heart can take the break when I see you looking at him the way I look at you."

He doesn't let me say anything, he just turns away and gets back into his car. I should of told home to stop. Tell him that I wouldn't, but I didn't. I'm too shocked to realize he already has driven away.

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