The Art of Still Pretending

Twenty Two

Blair POV.
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   You know, it takes a woman to admit when she needs help. And I need help, well more like therapy.

   I probably don't even have to explain why.

   But just in case you don't know, I have a lot of issues. One, daddy issues.

Two, my love for toxic men that stems from my daddy issues.

And three, the fact that I'm going to spend Thanksgiving with the so called toxic men.

   I should of said no, spent the holiday by myself. Honestly, maybe I'd even rather spend it with my father. But this? This isn't a fun or smart idea.

   I just couldn't say no. Literally, Emma wouldn't let me. Even threatened to drive down and pick me up herself. And then her mom called me and told me she would pick me up too if I refused. Knowing them, they would've follow through.

   So here I am, currently driving back home with Noah, Blake, and Natalie. Noah, is spending it with his family. Natalie, is going to the airport right away. Thankfully, Blake was invited by Jake to come spend it with the Heart family.

   Where is Jake, you may ask? He decided to drive up a day early. Why do I know that? Because Blake told me, not Jake, but Blake.

He's ignoring me, again. I tried calling, texting, nothing. It's been five days. But I deserve it. And even more, I don't deserve him.

I should of just promised him the stupid promise.

"Can I play a song?"

"I swear to God Noah if you ask one more time." I try not to laugh at Blake's irritated tone. The seal was that if Blake drove, he would get to play his own music. But Noah keeps bickering and complaining about it.

"You're just mad that your music sucks and everyone agrees." Noah says. I look to my right at him. He gives me his boyish grin. I know he's trying to just pick a fight.

"Everyone does not agree," he turns his head and looks at Natalie. "Right babe?"

She gives him a reassuring smile and pat on the arm. "Right."

***

   We are back in town not long after that. We drop Natalie off, and then Noah. Leaving just me and Blake on our way to Emma's.

   "Blake let's just run away." I suggest bitting my nail nervously. Blake looks at me and raises an eyebrow.

   "Is this your way of confessing your love for me? I mean don't get me wrong, you're gorgeous, and funny, and....ok it doesn't matter. But you're great. But, I like Natalie. So I'm sorry..."

   "Ewww, no Blake what the fuck? Definitely would never do that."

   Blake looks at me and scoffs. "And why not?"

   "One because Natalie. if that's not the obvious answer. Two, I don't like you like that. Like at all, like I would never ever like you like that."

   Blake scoffs again, "Well, I'm taking that as a compliment because your taste in guys is shitty."

   "Are you forgetting..."

   "Jake doesn't count. He's the only exception. That boy, no. He's all man. That man is literally made from a god, kissed by an angel, raised..."

   "Now I'm starting to think you're secretly in love with Jake."

   "No, I am definitely in love with Jake. If I bat that way, I'd be all up on him. You're so weird Blair, how are you not?"

  Blake is so weird. Like super weird.

   "Umm, I literally am all up on him. What do you mean?" Did he miss the fact that we were practically dating for a month. How is that not being all up him? Literally the second time I met him, I told him to kiss me.

   "No, I meant in love. How aren't you in love with him?" Oh, my, god. I'm not about to have this conversation. Someone, please tell me we're close to Emma's.

   "I don't know, I'm just not."

   I wasn't, I like Jake. Like a lot, like really super a lot. But I don't love him.

***

The conversation was short lived, and I was soon dropped off at Emma's house. Blake obviously went to Jake's.

"Blair!" Emma screams when she opens the door. We both hug, and bring in my stuff.

   We catch up with her mom for a little before going up to her room.

   "Ok," she said closing the door. She turns and looks at me. And I see what no one likes to see, a serious face.

   "Ok?" I say acting clueless. I'm a lot of things, hardheaded, stubborn, gorgeous, funny, smart, you get the point. But stupid, isn't one of them.

   Ok, maybe a little. But right now? Not stupid. I know she's about to grill me.

   "Don't act dumb, spill." Told you. "What's going on with you and the brothers?" I cringe at the word brothers. How my life would be so much easier if they weren't.

   Here comes the explaining....

   "No way." She says shocked.

    "Yea..."

   "No way."

   "Yea...."

   "No fucking way."

   I just told her the part about me and Jake talking last. The whole, promise me thing.

   "I can't believe that. And you haven't talked to him at all?" She asks. I nod embarrassed. "And you have to see both him and Grayson tomorrow?" I nod again.

   What I didn't expect, was for her to start laughing. "Why are you laughing?"

   "Oh my god, this could be a tv show." She laughs harder.

   "Glad my love life is so amusing." I groan and lay down.

   "Hey, I'm allowed to laugh. You're the one fucking my cousins. It's only fair."

   I groan again, "I'm not fucking your cousins. I haven't even slept with any of them."

   "Is Jake a good kisser?" She rolls over and puts her chin between her hands.

   "Three times, three times three different people have asked me that."

   "Well is he? He's a good looking guy, so you would think..."

   "Oh my god Emma, he's your cousin."

   "So?" She scoffs, "We aren't close or even blood related. And I'm not like trying to get with him. I'm just curious. There's a lot of hype about that man."

   "Yes," I sigh. "He's a really good kisser."

   "I knew it!" Emma smiles sitting up. "Now for the question everyone is wondering...."

   "Everyone, meaning yourself?"

   "Oh let me have my fun." She waves me off and continues. "Who is the better kisser? Jake or Grayson?"

   Ok.

   Obviously his name had popped into my head first.

   Even though I wish I had to think about it, but I didn't.

   "I don't know." A lie.

   "Come on, just tell me." She pleads looking excited.

   "You're such a drama starter." I roll my eyes at her.

   "Please..."

   "Fine, Jake is."

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