Hope for the Hopeless [Jemily]

What Did It Cost?

July 2, 2007
— Emily's POV
Thank god last night was a Thursday night and we didn't have to be in the office until 10:00 this morning. I woke up in Penelope's guest room with a pounding headache, feeling my pulse beat around my skull. I heard fumbling around in the kitchen outside so I called, "Penny?"

Garcia shuffled into my room and smiled, "Good morning, love bug. How ya feelin?"

"Like someone dropped a bowing ball on my head."

"Yeah, you had a lot to drink last night."

"I vaguely recall."

"Oh. So I guess you don't remember... talking with me about anything?"

"Hmm? What do you mean?" She stepped over and sat on the edge of the bed near my legs.

"You uh, you told me how you feel about JJ."

My eyes widened, "I did!?"

"Yeah. Sorry if that's not what you wanted."

I groaned, "Ugh. Well I guess it's what drunk me wanted. Did anything else happen?"

"You started telling me about how you wanted to be with JJ, and how you wish she was smiling because of you instead of Will. And then you started crying. A lot."

"Sorry." I looked down awkwardly and avoided eye contact.

"Everything happens for a reason, Emily. You got super drunk last night and confided all that in me for a reason."

"Yeah? And what almighty reason would that be?"

Garcia looked into my eyes and calmly said, "You have to tell her how you feel. And I think you needed someone to tell you that."

I looked out the window and sighed, "I can't. It's too late. She's probably eating crawfish with him right now. That's a New Orleans thing, right?"

"It doesn't have to be this second but... I wouldn't wait much longer. You know, before anything really kicks off with him. Crawfish isn't that serious."

I rubbed my eyes and stood up out of bed, "I have to think about it. And I can't right now. We have to get ready for work."

Garcia understandingly nodded, "Okay, Em."

Before I stepped into the bathroom I turned to look at her, "Thanks, Penelope."

"Anytime, gorgeous." She blew me a kiss and then set off for her own room to get ready. I started thinking more and more about what I could say to JJ, given that I actually muster up the courage to talk to her at some point. How serious do I think she could get with Will? And how long could that take? Are they serious already? All these questions buzzing in my brain only increased my anxiety surrounding the issue. Would she ditch him for me? Maybe she won't have to....

June 29, 2007 (two days later)
— Garcia's POV
"JJ, it's Pen again. You're supposed to be back in the office today but you'd know that if you'd listen to the 6 voicemails I sent you already. Your plane landed, you paid a cab to take you home, are you forgetting I can see all these records in my system? Please call me back and tell me why you're avoiding me! Angry goodbye!" I left JJ yet another voicemail today. We're swamped with case consults and Anderson is so clueless— we need JJ back. She was supposed to come into the office today since her flight from New Orleans came in last night, but it's almost noon and there's no sign of her. And no word. I set my cell phone back on my desk and turned back to my computers to get some work done while I waited for JJ to maybe call me back. My phone started ringing not even two minutes later. "Hello? Jayje?"

Her voice was quiet and low, "Hey, Penny."

"What's going on? Why aren't you here? Are you sick?"

"I can't... I can't come in."

"Why not? I'm starting to get worried here." There was no reply but I could hear her breathing on the other end of the line. "How was um, how was New Orleans? Emily told me about that detecti—"

"Will hit me."

The air was knocked out of my windpipe and I could barely get out, "What?"

JJ's voice broke as she explained, "He hit me. Last night. Before I came back."

"JJ I— What do you need? Do you want someone to come over?"

"I don't know what to do, Penelope. I really... I really thought he'd be..."

"I know, sweetheart, I know."

She sniffled and asked, "Can you just tell Hotch I'm sick or something? I really don't wanna... I can't be there today. I can't even move or think or... I just can't. Please?"

"Sure, Jayje, whatever you need." I was still in shock that this happened to her. A hard swallow slid down my throat before I said, "Is it all right if I just call again to check on you?"

"Yeah. Thanks, Garcia."

"Always. Love you, Jenny."

"Love you too, Pen." With that, she hung up. I set my phone down and tried to collect my bearings first before deciding what to do. She can't sit home alone all day. Not when she's like this. I hurried out of my lair and ran to Emily's desk, as fast as my heels to could carry me.

I leaned down next to her ear and instructed, "Come to my office, now."

She turned around and furrowed her brows, "What's goin—"

"Just.. Now." She nodded and followed me down the hall back to my sanctuary. I let her in first and then closed the door behind us, leaning back against it before saying, "JJ's home. She's in her apartment. She doesn't wanna come in."

"Why not? Is she ok—"

"Will hit her." Emily's face dropped and her jaw clenched tightly. She immediately lunged toward the door to leave, but I stopped her. "She said to leave her—"

"I don't care what she said, Garcia, let me out! I have to go help her!"

"I agree and I think it would be best, I'm just telling you what she said she wanted so you have all the information."

"Yeah? That's great, let me out." I nodded rapidly and opened up the door as Emily immediately darted out. She ran into the bullpen and grabbed her purse before rushing to the elevator.

— Emily's POV
It's nowhere near my fault but all I could do on my 80 MPH drive to Jennifer's house was feel guilty about this. I mumbled curse words to myself in every language I knew and hit my steering wheel so hard my hand was starting to turn red. My car screeched as I pulled up in front of her apartment building. I jumped out and used my spare key to get inside, running upstairs to her place as fast as I could. I knocked roughly on her door, "Jennifer!? Jen, it's Emily! Let me in, come on..."

I heard the door lock slide open, and there Jennifer stood. She smiled softly at me through dried streams of tears before collapsing into my arms.