Hope for the Hopeless [Jemily]

Don't Laugh! [smut]

mature content! sexual intercourse (cowgirl), mommy kink, top!JJ

August 16, 2007
— JJ's POV
"I think we've been here 5 minutes!" Garcia scoffed in surprise when she saw a man talking with Emily at the bar we're currently staked out in. It always amazes me how some guys think she's straight, but Emily sees it as an opportunity for amusement rather than annoyance when men hit on her.

"Yeah, but look at her, broke away from the group. The guy saw her alone, felt confident, made his move."

She joked, "Well must be real serious," as Emily walked over to us with her suitor.

Em smirked humorously, "Ladies, this is Brad, a real FBI agent." Ah. Now we got it.

Garcia and I joined in on the joke and simultaneously feigned impressed faces, "Really?"

Emily nodded, "Really."

I popped an almond in my mouth, "No. Way."

Garcia acted so enthused, "That's exciting. What's it like at Quan-tee-co?"

Brad cleared his throat, "It's, uh, quite impressive."

I asked, "Hmm.. What department are you in?"

"That's classified."

I flirtatiously winked at him, "Ooh, must be really tough keeping all those secrets."

He presented confidence despite us knowing he was a clear fake, "You know, it's a skill like anything else... Carpenters are good at building stuff, measuring... FBI is good at keeping secrets and kicking criminal ass." I openly rolled my eyes at that. Kicking criminal ass? Oh please.

Emily chuckled, "Well, somebody has got to do it— Oh! Do you have to carry your gun and badge with you everywhere you go?" This'll be rich.

Brad nodded, "Affirmative." What a fucking dork.

Emily smiled, "Can we see it?"

"See what?"

"Your badge." She nudged him with a flirty grin. If only he knew what she was packing, I thought.

Garcia begged, "Pleeease?"

He started, "I'm sorry, that's..."

We collectively recalled, "Classified."

Emily pulled out her badge and deadpanned, "Tell me, Brad, does it look anything like this?"

I whipped mine out with a shrug, "Or, uh, this?"

Garcia next, "Or maybe this?" Brad bit his lip in embarrassment and walked away with his tail between his legs. Emily immediately burst out laughing, as did I. Unfortunately my cell started ringing at that exact moment.

I answered from the table, "Agent Jareau." It was Hotch. I already knew what that meant.

Garcia giggled to Emily, "Lady, you are officially in my top 8, and I am so blogging about this later. Clink me."

I interrupted their celebration with a call for a case. "Sorry, ladies." We reluctantly put our beers down and drove to Quantico. The rest of the team was already there and gathered in the roundtable room. After grabbing my files and remote, I set up my slides and started introducing the case: "A year ago victims and their vehicles disappeared from Washington state. They were found over 200 miles away in the remote woods of Idaho. Courtney Jacobs, 24, and Shane Everett, 25. Autopsy revealed similar entry and exit wounds through the chest."

Morgan raised a brow, "Ballistics?"

I confirmed, "No bullets were found."

Emily looked over her file and reasoned, "Looks like they were out there for a long time before they were killed."