𝔅𝔦𝔩𝔩𝔦𝔢 𝔈𝔦𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔥 ℑ𝔪𝔞𝔤𝔦𝔫𝔢𝔰🖤

𝘾𝙖𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩☁︎︎☔︎︎

⚠️TW: Self Harm⚠️

Y/N POV:

I've been feeling this feeling again.
The feeling of being alone and unwanted.
Im currently standing in front of my bathroom mirror.

I lifted up my shorts and stared at me fading scars on my thighs.
I've been clean for a little over a week but the same overwhelming sadness has come again.

I went to my bedroom and lifted up my mattress, revealing my razor blade.

My girlfriend Billie doesn't know I've been doing self harm.
And I never plan on telling her.

I went back into the bathroom and closed the door.
I sat down in my bathtub and pulled off my shorts, revealing my upper thighs with many faded marks.

I began to swiftly swipe the blade across my skin.
The dry bathtub was soon filled with puddles of blood.

When I finally decided I was done, I turned on the handheld shower head and rinsed off the blood from my thighs and washed away the puddles in the bathtub.

I stepped out of the bathtub and my legs were very wobbly.

I put my shorts back on so you couldn't see my fresh cuts.
I went back into my bedroom and heard my phone dinging.

Billie was blowing up my phone.

Uh oh I didn't realize she was texting me.

Well at least she's coming over, I really need her company right now.

*10 minutes later*

I heard a knock at my door and I quickly rushed downstairs to open the door.
It was raining hard outside and I didn't want to keep her out in the rain.

I opened the door and was greeted from my beautiful baby.

She smiled widely and quickly walked inside.
She messed around with her kinda wet blonde hair.

She engulfed me in a big hug and lifted me up. Her hands were under my hips, close to my fresh scars.
I kind of winced when she touched my hips and she noticed.

She set my back on the floor and looked at my with concern.

"Baby, you okay?" She asked.

"Yeah I'm fine..." I said.

Her expression didn't fade and she looked down at her hands that were on my hips.
She looked back up at me.

Shit she definitely knows.
Billie has known about my problems with self harm before so it's no mystery to her.

I looked down in shame.
"Hey, look at me" She said, cupping my face with her hands.

I looked up at her with watery eyes.
She grabbed my hand and gently pulled me with her over to the bedroom.

She sat on the edge of my bed and patted her lap, signaling for me to straddle her.

I did so and she softly placed her hands on my hips again.

"Can I look at it?" She asked softly.

I nodded and rested my head on her shoulder.
Billie slowly lifted up my shorts, exposing my hips with many red lines on my skin.

"Oh baby" She mumbled while ever so softly running her fingertips over the fresh cuts.

I felt my eyes water and my tears stained Billie's gray t shirt.

"Why didn't you just talk to me Y/n?" She asked, her voice cracking slightly.

At that point I was lightly sobbing into her shoulder.
She hugged me tightly.
My shoulder became damp and I soon realized that she was crying too.

I pulled away and looked at her with furrowed eyebrows.
"Why are you crying Billie?" I asked quietly.

She wiped her eyes with her thumb before she spoke.
"I hate seeing you like this Y/n. It hurts me knowing that you're hurting" She whispered.

My heart broke at her works. I really don't deserve her.

"Please just talk to me next time you're feeling like this, okay?" She whispered while holding my face in her hands.

I leaned into her touch and nodded.

"Here, come lay with me" She said while laying on her back on the bed and pulled me down on top of her.
I rested my head on her chest and just let all the sad thoughts fade away.

Billie wrapped her arms around me and hugged me tighter.

She kissed the top of my head.
"I love you so much Y/n, never forget that. And I'm always here for you" She said.

"I love you too. Thank you for being here with me" I mumbled into her chest.

-🖤
-Sorry I haven't updated, I just started my sophomore year of high school and I've been getting a shit tone of homework lol.