You've got a Way

32.

Emma wouldn't go to bed. No matter what Derek did, she just wouldn't go to sleep. She had started the night out by throw her dinner on the table, followed by her plate and fork. And now she wouldn't go to sleep. Everytime Derek tried to leave the room and turn out the lights, she would scream and thrash around in the crib. Now she was had finally tired herself out and was asleep as he went into his and Meredith's bedroom and quietly shut the door.

"So um...I heard her and she didn't sound ready for bed." Meredith said from the bed, as she sorted through the baby bag she had grown used to carrying around.

"She's asleep now." He sighed, walking over to the dresser and barely looking at her.

"I can't believe you had your pacifier until you were three. No wonder she's so attached to it." Meredith said, looking up at his back.

"Yeah."

"So um...."

"We should pay my mom back for the stuff she bought for dinner."

"Oh um...I can go to the bank tomorrow." Meredith said, swallowing slightly as she sat the baby bag on the floor.

"I can do it." Derek said with no emotion, pulling on his pajama pants

"No....I can."

"Fine."

"It cant' be that much and I'll be getting more hours at work once the new secretary leaves so..."

"I said fine." Derek repeated.

"Okay."

"I work late tomorrow night.

"I know." Meredith said, watching as he kicked off his socks.

"Just reminding you." He sighed.

"Derek...."

"What?"

"I just....are you okay?" She asked, watching as he knocked over a picture of Emma from the dresser, cursing as he picked it up.

"No I'm not okay." He said, finally turning around.

"Oh." She should have read that he wasn't okay but somewhere during the night she had hoped his answer would have been different.

"I'm not okay...I thought I was...but I'm not."

"I....Derek I'm sort of confused." Meredith shook her head. Things had been going so well and now he looked upset.

"I'm not over it." Derek spat out.

"Over what?"

"I should have been here when Emma was born."

"I."Meredith frowned. "Derek I know it was...."

"I should have been here to pick out her name...if it was Emma...or...or whatever. I should have been here."

"You don't like her name?"

"This isn't about her name."

"Okay so this is about me not telling you."

"Yes...it's about the fact that...for eleven months...I had no idea that I was a father." Derek said, getting more upset with each word.

"Derek I said sorry."

"Sorry doesn't make up for it!"

"I know that but there isn't much more I can say Derek...I'm sorry you don't like her name." Meredith groaned, sitting back against his pillow.