The Nasty Rancher (Freezell #12)

Six

AEIRYN

SILENCE welcomed me as I entered his room after that sudden situation. I saw him sitting on top of the bed while looking so worried.

"Done," I said smiling but he didn't bother answering me.

I walked towards him and I showed him my smiling face. He gave me serious look as he stood up.

"You almost died for me—"

"Oh no, no, no, Mr. Lawson. I am Aeiryn Lez and no one could ever kill me," I said cutting him off. "And as I told you before, I won't die for you, for you are not worthy of my life. We will both dodge the bullet and no one has to die."

I was too shocked when he suddenly pulled me. I crashed on his body and he hugged me so tight that breathing wasn't even a choice.

"What are you doing, Ryl?" I said trying to push him away.

"You got me so worried, Lez! I was so damn worried! Paano kung napahamak ka?"

Something was really off and this was becoming so cringy!

Kumawala ako sa kaniya at nakita ko ang gulat sa mga mata niya. "Why the fuck are you acting like that?" I asked in a disgusted voice.

"I was just too worried!" he answered and I moved my head as if saying he was lying.

"Are you acting like this because we had sex? Are you trying to be attached? Oh gosh, Ryl! Stop your insanity!"

He acted as if he was a worried husband and that fucked me to death.

You may be my first, but you have no right to act as if you own me!

"I–I was just really worried. Alam ko naman kung saan ako lulugar sa 'yo. You clearly told me that you couldn't love anyone and I fully understood what you said."

"Good. That's good," I replied with a relieved tone.

Ayaw kong iparamdam niya sa akin na na-a-attach na siya, of course not for him but for myself. Ayaw kong sa huli ay mag-iinarte siya na mahal na niya ako tapos ako naman si gaga, magu-guilty dahil hindi ko masusuklian ang pagmamahal niya.

We both wanted each other's body and that was normal. I didn't want seeing him acting like this. He looked so obsessed, and that fucked my system. So damn cringy!

"The next time you act like this, I'll resign in this position, Ryl. You don't have to be so worried about me. I was trained to these things and stuffs. I was trained to be a professional in this field so you really have nothing to worry about. Stay calm and just stay safe."

Tahimik lamang siyang nakikinig sa akin habang salita ako nang salita. Maybe, he was trying to absorb how cringy he was a while ago. I didn't find it 'nakakakilig', it's more of 'nakakaumay'.

"Were you like this when you were younger?" he asked that caught me off guard.

I was stunned. I was unprepared.

"I am asking you, Lez. Were you like this too? In the past? Did you hate cringy things too? Were you not capable of loving someone even before? Or . . ."

"O–or what?" I asked while my heart was pounding so hard.

". . . were you traumatized by a past lover for you to turn this heartless and cold? Have you been betrayed? Left behind? Hurted? Hindi ka magbabago kung walang naging dahilan ng pagbabago mo," he continued in a very serious tone.

I was lost for words . . . really.

"Stop it, Ryl. You're no longer funny," I replied trying to compose myself.