shrek x donkey

12: 'Pants are an illusion and so is death'

A/N: why hello there, long time no see. Btw if you watch atla were automatically friends :))))

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Shrek woke to donkey screaming in his ear, "SHREK, SHREK, SHREK... SHREK" the ringing sensation rattling in his head caused shrek to wake up.  

jolting up from his comforting position. "WHAT?"

"why hello there, honey muffin. how was your sleep, did you enjoy last night?" donkey seductively raised his eyebrows at the last part of his question. Shrek looked unusually glum, which made donkey slightly worried he had done something wrong last night. "Is everything ok, you seem more broody than usual?" he paused thinking for a second. "Did you not like last night?" Slight panic arose from his throat at the end of his statement.

Shrek didn't reply.

'Oh no, I did something wrong, was there too much forplay? Or not enough forplay? Oh waffles, this is too confusing.' Donkey thought as his eyebrows creased and a lump formed in his throat. Shrek slowly pulled the covers off put his everyday clothes on and slowly walked out of the hut into the depths of the swamp. 

SHREKS POV

 Something feels off. Last night was pretty good, as good as it could get shagging a donkey.  So, why doesn't it feel right, I have some kind of attachment to this stupid mule now and I for whatever reason don't want him to leave even though he was as annoying as a human and still is in fact.

These feelings are making me feel, what's the word? warm? inside. He makes me feel like a bunch of tiny caterpillars are crawling around on my gut and lungs. Although, that may be because I ate live caterpillars yesterday, not quite sure about that, what I am sure of though is those caterpillars tasted delicious. Off-topic.

What's the feeling you get when you don't think you could continue without them and your happiest when they're around. When you can't imaging scaring random villagers without them anymore? You know, that feeling? What's it called?

I think it starts with the letter 'M', monkeys? No that's probably not right. Malaria? No, wrong again. Marijuana? actually this may be the wrong letter. 

Maybe it starts with a letter of something donkey loves? 

Wait??

LOVE

holy eyeball on a stick I LOVE DONKEY

should I tell him?

Yes? No? No, wait yes. AH, you know what I'm going to tell him he changed me and the least I could do is tell him why I acted differently this morning. Or maybe not? Dammit, Shrek you're telling him.

And with that off, I went.

THIRD-PERSON POV

And so off Shrek went, clambering through his swamp to go and tell donkey that he was sure donkey would want to hear. "I love you" Shrek replayed over and over in his head to get the right tone and emphasis to tell donkey.

He finally arrived at his house and walked with might to the door, he swung the door open, expecting donkey to rush over to him and see what was wrong. But, all that happened was the door knocked off its fingers and was now lying on the ground, with no donkey insight.

Instead, there was a note, Shrek picked it up and stared at it for a few seconds before tearing up. It said, 

'Why Hello there *evil cackling*, 

I have taken this talking, mule that was inhabiting your home captive. He will be residing in the castle a magnificent princess with orange hair and goes by the name Fiona was kept and rescued a few days prior. The dragon who guarded the tower was getting bored and began to destroy it because it had no purpose anymore. So, I gave it a purpose.

I would tell you not to look for him, but I think we all know you don't care about him enough to get him, do you? After all, it's just some willing donkey that was taking up space in your small swamp. Anyway, your welcome and goodbye. 

Sincerely,

Lord Farquad.'

Shrek saw RED

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HI, so I'm nearly at 500 reads which is epic as hell, thanks if you're still reading this I appreciate it.

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