i think i kinda love you

chapter 11 | que

eventually after a couple of minutes, we arrived inside. 

in silence, we both put our belongings on the table and while i locked the door behind me, she made her way to the couch where she laid there. 

"alright. let's talk baby. tell me as much as you feel comfortable talking about. i'm here now."

she smirked. but it didn't last too long. her smile quickly turned into a frown and before i could even say anything, a bunch of tears began streaming down that pretty face of hers. 

"awh no my love what's wrong?" i said as i whiped the tears off of her face. 

"well," she says as she gets comfortable on the couch beside me, laying her head down on my thighs as i reassuringly played with her hair. 

"once we recorded that little section for that one song on the album 'i love you', i remembered that i wrote this song when que and i broke up. i told him that we needed to end it because not only was it getting so incredibly toxic, but it was also very much illegal for him to have been with me at 16 while he was 21. like fuck. did he not realize i was a kid and didn't understand what the fuck grooming was? i tried to break up with him in the nicest way possible but he wouldn't let this go. he started crying and screaming at me. not gonna lie, it terrified me seeing him like this he was so clearly drunk but at that point, i knew that he wanted to let go of much more than just our relationship so i asked him why he wouldn't let it go considering that the relationship between the two of us would've just gotten more toxic if we continued to date and he simply told me that he liked the clout. that's where the lines 'it's not true. tell me i've been lied to. crying isn't like you.' come from. it's me pretty much talking about my disappointment when i found out that he was only in it because i was famous. i felt so suffocated recording that song today i don't know why but i knew i needed a break so that's why i wanted to leave. and on the way from the car to home, i started crying because ever since the recording, i was thinking about the night que and i broke up. it's almost like i re-lived it. so yeah. that's why i was crying."

"awh baby." 

i stare into her eyes with a worried look on my face. 

"you should've never gone through that. no one deserves to be in a situation. especially not you."

she smiles and reaches for a kiss.

for the next couple of hours, we talked about her relationship with que and how this man genuinely fucked her over. i felt so bad but i'm so glad she's doing better now. 

"im so happy to have been able to finally find love. real ass love."

i smile. 

"like baby, you make me nervous. i smile every time i look at you, i think to myself 'damn how the fuck did someone like me pull such a perfect fucking person'. i'm genuinely so in love with you. my friends, family, and fans all know you and as a matter of fact they're probably all sick and tired of constantly hearing me talk about how perfect you are." 

"awh baby you're too cute. i'm boutta fucking cry. i love you."

"no but seriously, there's nothing that isn't peak perfection about you." she says passionately. 

i didn't even realize it until bil pointed it out but, i had tears streaming down my face. 

"baby, don't cry that's too much crying from the both of us tonight." she smiles. 

"here you know what? let's go in bed, maybe watch a movie, and cuddle. sounds good?" 

i shook my head in excitement. 

she's too pure. how did i get someone so perfect? 

and so, for the rest of the night, we did just that. we watched fruitvale station while cuddling. to be honest, it was so cute to be rewatching the movie that sort of brought us together. it was our first cuddle session, if you will, compared to our most recent one that seems to have brought us even closer together. she ended up falling asleep about halfway through the movie and not long after, my eyes began to feel heavy. i'm so in love with her. 

goodnight :)