Current time: December, 2018.
Christmas wasn't the same, and the only thing I could see, was you, your face, your smile, and your laugh on repeat. I missed so many signs and failed to put action. I knew you and still didn't. I didn't know what you were capable of, and to think that you felt lonely all this time - and left, probably feeling lonely until your last breath.
What you hated and feared the most, had to face it one last time.
I imagine your face, lifeless, pale, and your neck full of bruises and marks that reveal the harsh truth: you were gone, forever.
I keep on thinking about so many things, and what comes to my mind is the fact that I knew you weren't okay, that I could have said or done something (anything), just for you to not go down that path. But I didn't. I acknowledged your depression, listened to you, talked with you, but never did a thing or talked you out of it.
I am looking for someone to blame, because I know very well that if I assimilate that the one that's actually guilty, is me, I will never be the same.
Perhaps he contemplated doing it a long time ago, but didn't.
You had everything that anyone would be grateful for: a mother that cherished you and supported you, a father that would come to your aid, your family, and a loving girlfriend - you had everything but nothing at the same time. You were lonely, you were unhappy, you were dissatisfied with the life that it was assigned to you for the sake of your mother and your love to her.
After all, this could've been a second Christmas where we call and congratulate each other, but wasn't.
YOU ARE READING
What death withholds
SpiritualThe protection of a secret brings people together, but death unites those in a way where tears and regret are the only left overs of a hidden memory. - The kind of secret that united Alessandra and Elijah. The kind of secret that you hide until yo...
