Sonder

Chapter 3

Jenny

Five or six months earlier, Jenny had been sneaking Nick through her bedroom's garden window on a nightly basis. They never 'dated'. It was mostly an issue of teamwork and plumbing.

As a cross-country teammate, she seduced him with pancakes, green pancakes, topped with chocolate chips and Nutella. "...The way to a man's heart..."

A team breakfast led to a team dinner. That led to a team movie night, and eventually, the team faded away until they found themselves, nearly, alone, in bed.

Their crushes had been confessed and compared to 16 Candles. But Nick was reluctant. He was still in love with Jill? And, he would be leaving for the Navy in a couple of months.

"SO!" Exclaimed their bedmate, Allie, Jenny's best friend, snuggled in the bed with them. Jenny is in between Nick and Allie. Allie is egging Nick to kiss Jenny.

Jenny's eyes are so wide, and deep, and sweet. She makes Bambi look rabid. Her eyes dart away, nervous, her lashes beat and her eyes reflect the bale blue of some faraway screen.

"I can't", Nick stutters about emotions, and love, and innocence. About plans, and greed. Most of all he tries to convey what a "Terrible, terrible person I am".

"She doesn't care!" Allie exclaims. "She Just. Like. Totally LOVES you AND she thinks you're amazing! Just KiSS HER!" The whole time Jenny seems to be miming every word with a not and those wide upward gazing eyes. They are so bright. Is she going to cry?

"That's the Point! She loves me! And I'll just break her heart!" 

"No, no, no..." Allie speaks and Jenny shakes her head.

"Jenny?" Nick addresses her directly. 

"Yes?" Jenny responds.

"I just. You have to know. I am going to go. And, I don't know that... My heart just doesn't feel right... like I stopped feeling... I feel like a terrible person. I don't know how to explain..."

"No-No. Just Just. Kiss Her/Me" they both speak in unison.

"Ummm," he weighs the pressure: "Just promise me two things: Promise that I won't break your heart... AND... promise that we'll never sleep *cough* have sex with each other".

"WHY?!" They both ask.

Because I couldn't live with myself if I took your virginity. You deserve someone who really loves you, who will be there for you. He says in his head.

"Just. Promise. O.K.?"

The two girls make some noises of consideration and he could hear them debating without using any words.

"Yeah" Allie whispers with a nudge.

"Yeah," says Jenny.

"You promise? No broken heart? No sex?" 

"Yes"

Alright. Might as well. Nick. You're an idiot. 

He curses himself before their lips touch. Their spines melt from the release of tension and Allie squeals with joy.

***

For weeks and months after that, they were private doves. Single on the team. Single at school. Fooling no one. He loved her so much. The way that any guilty person loves something that is so sweet and innocent. She dreamed of their wedding. And... He refused to be moved.

She read more than anyone he had ever known and, because of this, he found himself reading frequently and accidentally. She had a library of sensational memoirs, pulp fiction, and classics. As the weather cooled, their affair quickly became a little echo of domesticity. 

The pipes of Nick's single-wide trailer would freeze easily and often. Using this pretense, he would pack a day bag and sneak in through Jenny's window so that they could play house. When they weren't wrestling slow serpentine patterns around the entire basement, they would be Mr. and Mrs. Cleaver. Music like Atreyu, Atmosphere, Allen Jackson, and other artists beginning with "A" would play while they worked in the bed. While working under opposite lamps, their ankles were crossed.

He read, sketched, and wrote. She liked to scrapbook, read, or do homework. Both of them were perpetually prepared for the possibility that Nick would have to roll under the bed in the event of a "parental". 

In the mornings they would wake like woodland critters -"hail Satan"- she would check his collar and her makeup before sending him out the window. He would wander around the house to the front door and ring the doorbell:

"Good Morning Mr. A! I'm here to drive Jenny to school today!"

***

But, cross-country ended, and Nick's dad insulated the pipes. And, after a couple of close calls with Mr. A, their playing house came to an end.

It didn't help that Nick refused for them to make any official. To "go steady", or put a label on anything.

One day, he drove by, thinking he might visit. But, he saw a familiar Camaro out front.

Damn, he thought. "Good," he said to himself as he turned to drive away.