Sonder

Chapter 43

The next day, while sitting in speech and debate, Nick feels a bit of a burp. He suppresses it and controls a release of air from the corner of his mouth. Wisps of smoke curl in his pheripirahl vision. After a second of confusion, he quickly concludes that he must be spontaneously combusting. He grabs his water bottle to "put out the fire" but, it's empty. Managing panic, his life flashes before his eyes, convinced he has mere moments before he is fully engulfed in flames and his life is cut short.

The flames never come. He just manages his confusion and ruminates on the incident for a couple of days before learning what had actually happened.

After speech and debate, Nick meets with Kyle to receive the newest edition of The Banana Bazooka, a one page underground newsletter they'd started a year ago, inspired by The Yogurt Slinger and the Eaton Beaver (similar newsletters from different schools). The entire operation was supported by some rogue english teachers who encouraged the off-color counter culture rag, which contained weekly articles, poetry, and political cartoons which were taped over urinals and in bathroom stalls to provide entertainment and inspire dissent amongst the students as they relieved themselves. 

***

"Hi! Thanks for calling Dominos, this is Nick, what would you like to order today?"

"Hiii Nick. I'm not sure, what's the best thing you have to offer?"

"Ummm, our Thursday special is 2 large one topping pizzas for 19.99"

"Oh really? How large is Large?"

"Ummm... 14 inches, I think"

"Wow! That's really big! Are you sure they're that big?"

"I'm not 100%, let me check," Nick checks with Juan, "yes. 14 inches."

"That's really big. I'm not sure I need two of them though."

"There's always the 5-5-5 deal, three mediums for 5 dollars each"

"Well, I definitely don't need three!" She giggles.

"I..."

"How much for just you?" she asks suggestively.

"umm..."

"Would you be my delivery boy?" she continues.

"umm..."

As the sweat beads on Nick's brow, the lobby door in front of him and he can hear the door chime though the receiver as well as in real time. He can hear Clair laughing, over the receiver, and in the lobby.

"YOUR FACE!" She bursts out laughing, "YOU'RE ADORABLE! Were you gonna do it!? Were you gonna deliver her a large 'pizza'?!" Clair is holding her dad's cellphone and Nick is slowly returning the store phone to its receiver. He nods in appreciation of the prank.

"You're the cutest pizza boy in the whole state, I'm sure that's not the first time you've had a call like that..." she gives him a kiss and he gives her a key to his apartment. She's going to go hang out there until he gets off of work. 'Any minute now'.

***

Not as soon as he thought. After an hour passed, he ran a pizza and a salad to her to check in apologize for the delay. As he's speeding back on the main drag of 45, a big beautiful fluffy white cat starts crossing the road. He knows better than to swerve, but he puts his foot to the break and honks his horn. This startles the cat into turning 180, unfortunately, there's a tricked out WRX coming the other direction. With that Duraflex body kit, the cat never had a chance. 

*POOF!* White hair wafts across the road like dandelion fluff.

"NOOOO!" Nick yells! He's already cursing himself, convinced that if he hadn't honked, the cat probably would have made it across safely. 

Clair would never forgive me for this if she found out about it. He thinks.

***

Later, at his place, after "watching" Buffalo Soldiers Clair grabs a spirometer. A "lung capacity thingy" from a shelf and gives it a try. 3.5. That's pretty good. As far as Nick knows. Somehow, despite Corey smoking, Corey can hit a 5.5. Last time he checked Nick could get something like a 4... He tries it. 3.1. I can do better than that, he thinks. He tries again. 3.2. That's no good.

He does his best to stifle his disappointment and Clair moves onto sharing other "worthless human tricks" as she calls them. This reminds him of his near spontaneous combustion from that morning... but he holds that thought in, less he worries her, or she thinks he's delusional.

She warps her tongue into a star shape. He can't do that, but, he can touch his nose with his tongue. She can do that too. He can bend over backwards, touching the crown of his head to his calves. She can put both legs behind her head. As she is sort of stuck in that position, he picks her up and carries her off to the bedroom, laughing, squealing, and hollering in mock protest.