No Regrets

Ch. 1

"I can't believe Erwin made that little twerp a Captain. Why does he get his own special squad?"

Four of us girls sat around the table in the mess hall with the other members of the Survey Corps. We all stared at the now Captain Levi as we picked at our potato and carrot soups and drank our nasty beer.

"He's kind of handsome though, don't you guys think?" Petra sighed and put her chin in her hands. Levi was completely oblivious to us watching him as he sipped his tea and stared blankly at the wall. "I hope I get picked for his special team. I've been training extra hard for it."

Hange, Nifa, and I laughed out loud at the lovesick girl. All Petra had done since she joined the Survey Corps was talk about Levi and how handsome, and strong he was. Humanities strongest, they say.

"Sure, for 4 feet tall," Nifa snorted.

"Nifa, you're not much taller you know," Hange pointed out which got her a playful smack on the arm in return.

"Yeah, he's too short," I agreed. This was a complete and total lie though. I happened to find him extremely attractive but wasn't about to let anyone hear me say that out loud, especially to Nifa who liked to gossip. If it got around that I thought the handsome Captain was attractive, it could get back to the wrong person. AKA, Erwin Smith.

"Well you wouldn't agree. You're sleeping with a Commander now," Petra purred, making the other 2 girls snicker. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, in spite of the blush forming on my cheeks.

"I am not, we're just good friends!" I insisted. Another lie. Erwin and I had been secretly having a relationship off and on for years now. Well, secret to everyone but Hange and her observant eye. But it has always been a secret to everyone else due to the fact that he was being groomed to be a Commander since the beginning and once that happened, he couldn't be with a subordinate. "It would be inappropriate," he always reminded me. In all honesty, I really didn't totally mind though. There was something exhilarating and hot about our secret relationship.

"Sure," Nifa snorted and took a drink of her beer.

"Now," I continued. "I do think Erwin's sexy though." I didn't mind everyone knowing I thought Erwin was attractive, but he might would scold me later if he found out I was talking like that about him. The rumors that circled the two of us were already bad enough to get through the other military ranks, we didn't need them to get worse. Erwin had been called upon by superiors multiple times but the two of us always denied our relationship.

"His eyebrows are too bushy," Petra said with a shrug.

"Speak of the devil," Hange grinned and looked up behind Petra and I. Shit. Both of us cringed inwardly, knowing by "the devil" she meant Erwin and that meant he heard one or both of us.

"Is this what you idiots talk about in your free time?" We all looked up to see Levi walking up behind Erwin with his typical blank stare. The four of us bit back laughter and looked up at the two men. Erwin looked back down at us with a kind, handsome smile.

"I like to think of my eyebrows as my best asset," Erwin said, making Petra give an awkward laugh and a blush from embarrassment cross her cheeks. "Gwen, Petra. Would you ladies mind coming with us to my office?"

"Yes, commander," the both of us said in unison. As we get up from the the table the we both flash confused looks at Hange and Nifa who just lightly shrug and sip their beers quietly.

The walk to the office was quiet apart from whispered conversation between the tall Commander Erwin and the short Captain Levi. As I watched them I couldn't help but let my thoughts wander into dangerous territory about the two attractive men.

"What do you think this is about?" Petra whispered, pulling me out of my embarrassing fantasy.

"Huh?" I jumped slightly, then realized what Petra asked. "Oh, uh. No clue."

When we finally arrived to Erwin's office, three other men stood outside the door and saluted Erwin when we approached. I recognized the three of them. They were our best soldiers, making me start to realize what may be going on. I had no idea what I was doing there though.

"Thank you for joining us, please come in," Erwin said with a smile, opening the door and leading everyone inside. We walked in one by one, me being the last, giving a confused glance at Erwin as he closed the door behind us. He placed his hand on my lower back smoothly as he walked past me, the feels of his fingers making me inhale slightly. It was a small gesture but anytime he touched me it lit me on fire.

As Erwin sat behind his mahogany desk, Levi went to stand next to him, his grey eyes watching us with his bored expression. The five of us stood in a line in front of Erwin's desk, hands behind our backs, waiting.

"Well, I'll get straight to the point. You five have proven yourselves since you've joined us, and Captain Levi here has hand picked each of you for his Special Operation Squad," Erwin explained. All five of us gasped from the announcements. Petra practically squealed from glee, but quickly regained her composure. I shot Erwin an extremely confused look. I wanted to say something so badly but he shot me a look with a quick head shake, as to say "not now".

I had absolutely no idea what Levi would pick me of all people. If there was one thing I knew about myself, it was that I was probably one of the worst members of the Survey Corp. I joined because I believe in what we're doing, and I believe there's a life outside the wall. But when it came down to it, all I had was heart. I had every attribute that made a bad soldier: laziness, clumsiness, anger problems, and trouble following orders. Honestly, I should have joined the Garrison. So why in the hell am I on this squad of incredible soldiers?