No Regrets

Ch. 7

Getting back into training after my time off wasn't so bad. Levi didn't treat me like I was delicate by any means but was careful not to make any more injures. He watched me carefully as we sparred together and made sure to catch me if I accidentally tripped over myself. As the weeks went by, I got better and better, in every field. The week before the expedition was when we finally got back into ODM gear since my ribs were close to being healed. Levi made me go back to the basics and we trained for hours every single day up until the day we were going back into Wall Maria to set up a resupply station between Trost and Shiganshina. Slowly but surely, one day, we can reclaim Shiganshina and Wall Maria.

On the eve before we rode into our possible deaths, Levi and I sat in the kitchen together like we usually did while everyone in the house was fast asleep. This has become the routine for us two insomniacs. We train all day, eat dinner with everyone, then read or talk and drink tea- sometimes wine or whiskey in my case- while everyone else is asleep. We both seem to have chosen to forget about the embarrassing drunk incident earlier in the month and we have become almost... friends?

As I've gotten better with training, he's lessened his shitty comments about my inability. I was nowhere near his skill or anything, but I was finally catching up with my comrades at least. Even Petra was pleasantly surprised when she came out to watch us the other day.

"I knew you had it in you!" She squealed as she watched me successfully "take down" a fake Titan. On more than one occasion Erwin came and watched my progress and always beamed at me with pride. Levi would shoot me an annoyed, knowing look every time Erwin would come and tell me how good of a job I was doing. Hange and Nifa made sure to keep up with my progress as well, always telling me how proud they were too. It was all very embarrassing how they all doted after me but I appreciated it nonetheless.

"Are you worried about tomorrow?"

Levi looked up at his book at me with a sigh. Usually on nights when we decided to do our respective reading, the rule was to stay silent. But I couldn't help it. I had too much on my mind tonight.

He stayed silent for a moment. "I'm not worried about them." Ouch. It was a fair answer, but I looked away in embarrassment anyways.

"But you are worried about me."

"Yes."

I sighed and closed my book. I know when he says he's worried about me, he means he's worried I'll get the rest of them killed. Even though I've gotten much better, I was still a drag on the squad. Like an extra limb that gets in the way.

"If something happens out there," I said softly. "Please... Just leave me. If I get grabbed, do not risk anything for me."

Levi stayed silently and watched me as I spoke. I glanced up at his face that wasn't exactly blank but... I couldn't tell what it was. He was nearly impossible to read. There was something different there though.

"Okay." The simple agreement stung even though it was what I wanted. I think deep down I wanted him to protest and say 'Gwen, no, of course I'll save you'. But I asked him and realistically we both know I'm not worth the risk. Erwin never commanded him to protect, just assumed he would. I'm sure Erwin never assumed I would ask Levi to do the opposite.

"Well since I'll probably die tomorrow, I guess I'll have a drink," I said with a sad smile and went to the cabinet to grab a glass.

"Grab me one too," Levi murmured. I looked back, surprised, as I grabbed another glass and carried them over to the table, along with a bottle of whiskey.

"Captain Levi having a drink? With me? Never thought I would have the honor. You never drink."

"If you keep on you never will again." I chuckled and poured us both our drinks. We gave a small cheers with a clink of our glasses, then took a sip.