18.6 Lilian And Karloi (2)
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*When she saw Alexis, who was about to leave, Lilian hesitated for a long time. Lilian eventually opened her mouth because of the slight guilt she had felt while watching Alexis.
"...I read the Duchess' diary. The diary that was left here."
Lilian took the diary out of the hole in the tree and handed it to Alexis.
"I'm sorry. I knew I shouldn't peek... But I just wanted to know how you endured all of that."
Alexis glanced down at her diary.
"It wouldn't have been much help. I'm full of shame."
"Anyway, the Duchess is alive and continues to live... That alone showed me something."
Alexis held the diary in her hand as if trying to flip through it, then stopped beckons. She picked up a stone from under the tree, untied the string that was holding her head, and tied it to the diary. Then Alexis quietly dropped her diary into Lake Mexus. The diary sank to the bottom without a sound.
Suddenly, Lilian lost what to say and looked at Alexis.
"Because I don't need it anymore."
Alexis seemed somehow relieved.
"Now I can admit that Adelaide is dead without being angry. I've been tied to my feelings for so long, it's time to let her go. I did things she wouldn't want because of the feelings I poured out over there..."
Alexis, who was at the end of her speech, took a curtsy to Lilian.
"Hopefully, one day the Empress will get better too."
It was kind of like an apology.
"Duchess..."
Lilian seized Alexis, who was about to leave, on a whim. It was so impulsive that she was amazed at herself and forgot what to say next.
"Oh, it's..."
She couldn't bring herself to say anything. Maybe she's scared because she doesn't know what answer she'll get.
Alexis answered Lilian more quietly.
"He's fine. So you don't have to worry."
Lilian clenched her mouth in response as if she knew exactly what question she wanted to ask.
(I see, you're feeling better now.)
She felt like she was going to cry. Fortunately, when she thinks of Karloi, she always feels a little bit lighter.
"Does the Duchess no longer hate him?"
Alexis put on a troubled look for a momentarily.
It makes my heart feel complicated when I look at him... But I don't hate him. In fact, unlike Your Majesty, I have no right to hate him."
Alexis left Lasortio with those last words.
Lilian sat on a chair by the lake and stared for a long time at Denise on her canvas. While pondering Alexis' words. She wondered whether she was still angry with Denise's death, or how she felt when she thought of Karloi. What kind of mind is she going through her head all of a sudden?
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When he heard that Lilian was about to leave Lasortio, as well as the Empress' seat, Karloi did not react. He simply accepted it as if he had expected it all. So for the first few days.
Karloi's face, which was becoming more and more gloomy, became impossible to look at. It would have been better if he cried out that he was about to collapse or die, but even with that humiliation, he continued to live. He wakes up at the same time, eats at the same time, and works at the same time. He speaks plainly when he is in front of others.
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