Supposed to be Mine

20 : 🖤

"Phad.. What are you doing??"

He looked really surprised upon realizing how close he is from my face with our current position..

"What do you mean?"

"Can't you see?"

He suddenly grabbed and pinned me to the wall scaring the shit out of me when I realized his eyes were out of it..

But I knew I needed to stay calm and compose handling it.. We can't make a scene which will surely call the attention of the admin.

So I tried to wake him from this daze on my own.. Thank goodness this is Phadbok..

"I-- Shit Kit! What happened??!"

I rubbed my wrist..

"Don't ask me.. You're the one who pulled me here.."

Honestly.. I already have the idea, but didn't expect this to go far.. or that it's possible to get to this point. Phad never even hurt me, ever since we're young..

Now.. I'll surely can't fight this dumb.

"I.. I'm sorry.."

"It's fine.. Are you okay?"

"Y-Yeah.. I just.. Suddenly saw black and.. My body went on its own.. I just heard your voice and.. Fuck.. I'm.."

"Calm down.. I'm fine.. You might just need some rest.."

He's sweating while rubbing his face..

"Phad.. Are you okay.. Can you calm down?"

I brushed his hair away from his face..

"Kit.. I.. Want to know what's happening to me.."

No..

"What are you talking about??"

This is.. not it, right?

"I feel weird for the past few days.. I feel unwell and it seems like getting worst.. I feel-- I feel like I want to.."

Is he.. being affected.. of my pheromones? But aside from him.. Others doesn't seem to--

"Kit.."

His eyes were still dilated..

"Kit.. Don't leave me.."

I frowned staring at him.

"You're joking.."

"I don't feel right.. Something doesn't feel right.."

Yeah.. Everything is not right. But I can't tell you for now..

I can't do it yet..

"Just take a rest.. Let's skip. I'll go with you."

He doesn't still seemed to be fine.. Though, me being around is also not helpful if it's the case.. But in this confused state of his, I'm also pretty sure he won't let me go today.

"Y-Yeah.. Let's do that."

I'm still really sorry for doing this.

***

"I've been looking for you.."

"I sent you a message.."

"But you didn't respond after.."

Aside from Phad, here's Mark who's acting differently too. He used to understand whenever I can't respond to him or spend lunch to hangout with Phadbok.. But now..

"Mark.. Do we have a problem? If there is.. then what is it?"

But he just stared at me with his deep black orbs.. As if waiting, but impatient..

"I know there's something wrong but you have to tell me.."

He stepped forward and took my hand.

"I'm.. I'm missing you a lot.. I keep missing you but I don't know how to fill that gap.."

Mark intertwined our fingers with his eyes only focused to our hands..

"What do you mean?"

"I felt this stranger distance you're keeping between us.. There's something, you're not telling me."

I wish I can tell you.

I wish, I can have you as that someone to share this but.. how can I do that to you?

How can I tie you in this situation when all you offer to me is the sincerity and loyalty of your feelings that I wonder if I can return.

"I know you're hiding something.."

"Will you get disappointed of me if you're right that I'm keeping things?"

He leaned to rest his forehead to my shoulder allowing me to feel his body's warmth..

"You should be aware that it will never happen.. But if that's the case that you're keeping a secret from me.. My heart will surely feel sad of not being with you."

I'm already selfish dragging both of you this long. I wonder how I can still face you..

"Doctor Kit.."

I then felt how his arms enveloped my waist as he uttered..

"All I wish in this life is to be a part of you.. to be with you.. and nothing else is next."