Anguish (Jikook/vmin)

1.

'And here comes your meal! Gobble it up before it gets cold.' Jimin's dad tapped his back as he placed a bowl of delicious spaghetti infront of him.

The aroma was lingering in the air. Any person would jump right into the meal, finishing it up in seconds but unfortunately jimin was not one of them.

The aroma was more like a smell for him, he felt nauseous just by looking at the dish.

'How much calories could it possible contain?' This was what jimin thought everytime while eyeing food.

It's not like he was not hungry though. He was hungry, he was very hungry but he had no appetite. He wanted to eat and silent the grumbling noises coming from his stomach but just couldn't lift the fork up.

How hard it can be to consume food? How hard it can be to insert food inside one's mouth? No one understood what he was going through. No one!

As he slowly lifted up the fork, he couldn't unsee the look his mom was giving him. He knew that look.

She was saying him to keep the fork down or else she would lock him up in the basement as always.

'Eat up, jimin! Why are you hesitating so much?' His dad spoke up who wanted his son to eat and earn feedback on his cooking skills.

Unfortunately he was unknown to all the tortures his son was going through. Either blame it to his job that requires being in his workplace for like 24/7, he couldn't see what his son was going through. He was unknown to how his own mom didn't let him eat. How his son was barely surviving on limited boiled vegetables and salad. How his son was made to fast atleast 3 alternate days and how he was being poorly treated by his own mother.

Jimin had been overweight since he was a child. Cute tummy rolls, chubby cheeks, things were entirely different when he was a child. he was adored, loved for how cute he looked but as he eventually entered his teen phase, his innoncence was shattered by the cruel bullying and name calling that he barely tolerated. He used to break down, curse himself for his apperance but never told his parents.

His mom never paid attention to him anyways and telling it to her would have been pointless. His dad being a celebrity chef, had a large chains of restuarants. And he rarely came home. Besides his dad was the only one who loved him so he intentionally didn't share it to him. He knew jimin was constantly worried about his weight but unfortunately couldn't be known to his extreme diets. Jimin didn't wanna show to his dad that how much of coward his loving son was who tears up even when someone teased him. 

He had been dieting very unhealthily over the years and it had been too late for him to change his diet as things had already gone so extreme.

He would be inhaling large amount of food after fasting continously for few days which didn't reduce his weight rather he suffered from insomnia and severe gastric due to his eating habits.

And to add fuel to his already disastrous situation, his actress of a mum was being too strict with his diet as if fasting would reduce his weight overnight.

Just because a friend of her mother called jimin ugly in comparison to her, and pinpointed his chubby cheeks infront of everyone in a random party...his mother had taken that single thing as an utter insult to her self esteem or like more to her ego and hence instead of advising and counseling his son to quit all the shit he was doing, she herself was ruining his physical as well as mental health.

'I am in mood to eat, dad!' Jimin finally spoke up as he placed the fork to it's previous position, and his mom's hardened stare normalised to a bit.

'I made this just for you, son. Please have atleast few bites.' His dad spoke up as he twirled the fork over spaghetti and brought it near to jimin's lips.

And then again jimin got to see his mother's stare which scared him to core.

If he eats then he would be locked up in the basement as soon as his father goes away and if he doesn't his father would feel hurt by the way he rejected his food.

It's been numerous times of him being locked in basement and everytine he thought it would be easier to cope up with than the last time but he only got more paranoid and more panicked over the period and now even the mention of basement would terrify him.

He pushed his dad's hand away from his mouth very harshly causing it to drop on the floor and shouted saying,

'Why are you forcing me? I said I am in no mood to eat. Is it so hard for you to understand dad?'

And as he completed his sentence his father instantly slapped him with enough force to knock him down from the chair.

'When did you learn to be so
disrespectful jimin? I made this for you and this is how you will treat food. It's all because you don't know what being starved is...that's why you just behaved like an ill mannered spoiled brat. What the hell is with you saying,I am in no mood to eat?? You wouldn't have been this big, and fat if you hadn't consume any food. So stop this shitty act of yours and eat.'

Jimin very well knew what being starved felt like but his father didn't know how his brutal words had hit that spot of insecurity which would forever remain as a scar in his heart.

'I hate you dad. I really hate you. You know how much insecure I am about myself, my weight, my appearance and you successfully managed to hurt me, just because I didn't eat what you cook. You come home rarely, ignore me, donot give a shit about what am I upto and still have the guts to say I am being disrespectful and a brat. I hate you and moreover I hate myself for what I have become.' Jimin's cries was as always ignored by his mother who simply went to her room whereas his dad couldn't even buck up to say sorry to his son who seemed so hurt and broken.

He knew he crossed his limits with his words but couldn't help it when jimin pushed his hand away. He just wanted to feed his son his favourite spaghetti who had been looking down from the very morning.

Jimin raised himself on his own, ran to his room and locked himself creating a loud bang with the door.

Jimin's father was scared and shocked out of his wits as he had never witnessed such behaviour of his son ever before and so with no more thoughts he gave a call to whom he thought could calm jimin down not knowing the particular individual was the one who had inflicted the most pain to his son.

A/n: With due respect, I urge you all to not pressurise me with the updates, it would be updated very soon after still with you is updated. Thank you and do leave your opinions regarding this book.💜🤗