Dawn (complete)

my mother

I hate. Hate. Hate. Sitting around. There's nothing worse then that honestly.
It had been 2 days, 2 whole days of sitting in the same place and not doing anything. Lissa had been nice enough to visit me as much as possible but she couldn't do much of that because of classes starting up again. From the impression I got while in lissa's mind not much was happening in the classes. Dimitri had also not visited since the last time and I knew it was going to be that way until all new guardian replacements didn't arrive.
Lissa had also reminded me about my birthday, she felt sorry that we couldn't do anything special for my 18th birthday but honestly after the caves and everything I wasn't sure I wanted anything.
What did all these things matter when strigoi lurked out there? Turning 18 just signified the fact that we wouldn't be under the academy's protection for much longer. That our time to be happy and carefree was very limited now. Of course lissa didn't think like this, she didn't have to. I didn't feel jealous of her, not in the sense that I had previously felt when fight the darkness but now it was a more subtle feeling one that showed its ugly head from time to time when I wonder how my life would be different if I wasn't a Dhampir.
This thought broke me out of my head. I had been caged in this hospital room for too long and now even my thoughts were going crazy. Realising I needed a distraction I went into the comfort of lissa's head. She was walking to her next class but before I could get more details movements in my own surroundings brought me back.

"Rose?"
I signed.

"Mother" she hadn't been the person I was wanting to see, despite my conversation with dimitri two nights back my relationship with my mother was still confused and awkward and I honestly wasn't interested in fixing it. I mean, some part of me wanted comfort from her and understood her now but still the bad things had still happened and seeing dimitri talk about his family made me feel even worse about mine.
Why couldn't I have a mother who cooked my favorite food for me when I was sick or sad.

"How are you feeling now?" She asked, casual but I could see the hint of couscousness behind her eyes.

"Fine, just like before"
She nodded in response and the awkwardness that I mentioned creeped near us.

"Good, then let's go"

"Go?" I asked, not really believing her.
"Like I'm free to go? Discharged??"

"No, you haven't been discharged. The doctor wants you to rest for a while after everything that happened but you can go out for walks or other places-"

"Really?!? Why wasn't i told this before!?"

"UNDER adult supervision" my mother finished, her annoyance with me falling though her words but I could also see the hint of a smile in her face.

"Oh"

We stayed in silence as I brushed our my hair and put it in a ponytail. She didn't say anything and only guided me out of the hospital.
"I wanted to talk to you"

Talk to me? I had no idea what this could be about. I hadn't exactly done anything wrong so what could she have to talk to me about?

"Let's go to the guardian lounge, I wanna get a coffee... do you drink coffee?" My mother was speaking as if she was being careful about what she was saying which shocked me. She had much more restraints then I did when it came to most things but she wasn't the type to speak carefully around me.

Part of me wanted to start talking to her the way I used to... it was get me the answers that I wanted but I decided against it remembering hoe dimitri had talked about his mother. It was hard for me to even believe that love like that existed in families but suddenly I didn't want to provoke my mom. I realized my mother was staring at me, expecting my answer.