Dawn (complete)

the talk

Following my mother around court was weird, she wad obviously familiar with place and that made keeping up with her, despite being taller then her difficult.
Dimitri and Eddie had ditched me, as soon as my mother had decided to say follow me. I considered it an act of betrayal but I didn't blame them considering my mother looked like a cartoon character, fully finish with the smoke coming out of her eyes and a very red face.
I wasn't really sure where she was leading me and soon I found myself in a small well organized room.
It was honestly kind of unnerving to be closed in such a small space with my mother, she was many things and but sadly my mother was on said list and as such she didn't hesitate on being a absolute bitch to me.

"So, can you explain to me, what unforgivable sin I've committed this time, in your  eyes of course" I asked, narrowing my eyes to fully let the effect of my prettiness shine though.

"Excuse me? Problem? Rose, honestly! It seems like you can't do anything but cause problems! Firstly, you storm out of the lounge while I'm talking to you, with Guardian Belikov being kind enough to try and cover your rudeness! Then, you think you can act and talk however you want with me while I'm at work! Then, you mention to that THE QUEEN had a meeting with you and you didn't think, even for a second that you should have mentioned that to me?" My mother went off like I have never seen her before and I furious!

"How dare you!? How can you ever accuse me of cashing you any problems? You know what, let me explain this to you today. Explain so that you fucking understand. I'm allowed to storm out after you basically tell me that after not seeing me for most of my life that you're taking the job that I've been working towards my ENTIRE LIFE! I'm allowed to feel things! I'm allowed to have a reaction to things that upset me! I'm not a fucking robot! And I'll never be one, unlike you! I'm allowed to have a reaction to you telling me that you'll suddenly be around every day for every fucking second of my life after I barely knew you for the most of my life!"

"Rose that's not-"

"I'm not finished talking, and for once in your life your gonna fucking listen! Listen to me. I'm allowed to have my own emotions! You remember how you asked me what were you supposed to do? Coddle me? No, but you were supposed to care. And I was allowed to be upset that I didn't have anyone to cry to. You know why? Because you are right, lissa is MY charge, she is someone I am supposed to care for. And I do, that's why I've never cried to her! I've delt with every situation life has thrown at me by myself. So no, you don't get to walts back in and ask why I didn't tell you something or why I reacted in a way that I did! Because you are no one. Thanks for fucking paying for shit, but guess what, liss has bought me more clothes then you have. Fuck, even Dimitri has bought me more shit then you have! All you've done for me, has been the absolute fucking bare minimum, and you don't get to be upset with me for that."

Saying all that felt good. It felt nice to finally explain, and for once my mother was silent. Listening just like I had asked her to. She still had her guardian mask on, she looked like that same old infuriating person but I couldn't concentrate on that. I was breathing heavily and tears was threatening to come out of my eyes and I did not want my mother to see me crying. I refused to let her see me crying.

"Rose, I did as much as I could. I did, what I thought you needed. I did... what was good for you." She explained, and I was honestly shocked that she was somehow still calm. Still talking to me instead of hitting me. That's what she had done the last time. I didnt let my thoughts dwell on the bitterness of that, instead I just nodded. I'm not a very emotional person and all this, first the thing with the queen and now this mess was too much more me.

I needed a break. My birthday was already too sour.
Something told me, in my mother's posture that she would speak more, if I stayed but I was too numb and emotionally charged at the same time. Everything felt weird and all I knew was that I could suffocate if I continued to stay in that small room so I walked out.

"Good job" Dimitri's voice startled me back to reality, one where people other then me and my mom existed.

"I- Dimitri" my voice sounded broken even to me and Dimitri gave me a nod understanding. He wasn't the type to show much affection, much less with me and in public but he somehow understood how much the back of my throat was burning right now because he held my with his left arm and retreated "Good job, you did good"

He guided me through court, walking me God knows where.

"You deserve a better birthday than this" he said softly, keeping pace with me.

"I should check on Adrian" I answered, feeling responsible for destroying want was supposed to be a good day for my friends.

"Eddie is checking on him ... and I'm checking on you. Let me take you go a place I really like, stan will call me when they're back" Dimitri said, comforting me in that strange way of his.

"Did I go too far Dimitri? She was calm" I asked, still thinking over everything I told my mother. I was just so angry, I honestly didn't even think about anything I was saying, not that I thought much about what I was saying most other times.

"I- I meant what I said, I think you did good. You are correct, your feelings are your own. You are allowed to have them, and you kiss shared them with her, I think that's fair"

Not right. Just fair. I could live with that.

_____________

I'm back again after a year! Honestly who's surprised? I am so bad at keeping up, but this time it wasn't even that, I was just going though a very bad place mentally, and it sucked a lot and I'm trying to get over it.
This fanfic was honestly ment to be something I enjoyed, a fully fun, passion project that's why I didn't want to touch it when I was sad and so not mentally in that space.
I also started fanfics in other fandoms in said time since I felt like it would help me mentally.
I'm okayish, still dealing with some really major life changes and things that have me stressed over the moon.