Give me love

11

I was 3 hours into my drive listening to music and still no word from Niall, I knew this would happened because in his head with the flowers all is forgiven he'll come home and ill be waiting in bed for him.

He wouldn't change for anything, he was so hard headed. in the middle of listening music my phone started ringing.

'niall'

I let it ring two more times before picking it up.

'hello'

'where are you?'

'I told you I was leaving. you didn't catch the hint, or did you think when you hit me I would only fall more inlove with you?'

'are you fcking serious Andy?' he was raising his voice at this point.

'yes Niall, and tomorrow i'll call the lawyer to get the divorce going, I don't want anything that's yours. all I want is this car which is in my name and half of the money we have in the joint savings account.'

'Andy you cant be serious. where are you ? we can talk and get through this you know I would never mean to hurt you, you got the best of my anger yesterday and im so sorry.'

' niall im sorry, but im not even in the state, I cant be with you anymore and it isn't because I don't love you but because we are growing apart, work is more important and we are always fighting. I don't think its healthy.' then there was a loud smash in the back, he was home that would be the only way he knew I was gone.

he screamed and there was smashing of glass I could only imagine what the house must look like.

'fuck you Andy.' that's the last thing he said and the phone went dead.

I knew that he wouldn't find me because I never told him about this it hurt to much to speak of my grandmother after she had passed so I never spoke of her, it was guilt in my heart but to speak and bring her to life would only make me think about once the conversation was over there would be no one there.

I drove and drove until I got hungry or needed gas, I passed Georgia the small towns and local places I looked at the clock only because the sun was coming down. 8:25 pm I didn't want to stop to camp I just wanted to get there, when I finally hit the welcome to South Carolina sign I felt some sort of relief I was closer.

finally around 1 am I reach the beach house, it was so familiar nothing changed. the crazy part was that It was mine, after my grandmother died she actually left it in her will for me I was 20 so it was just put in my name. I never rented in fear someone would mess it up. every year I would come down and check up on it and fix it if it needed it. but I never touched her room, when I arrived the key was under a flower pot I opened it and turn the lights on and it was just as I left it.

I just throw my things in the living room and go into her room, I lay over the made bed I grab a blanket that laid on a chair beside the bed.

I cried, I sobbed into the pillow, I didn't even notice what time I fell asleep.

_________

the next morning I was still a little puffy around my eyes I take a shower in my own room and change clothes putting up some things and then getting the rest of the things from the car. my phone was blowing up with Nialls text and calls and finally I just picked the call up.

'where are you?' he says to me

'I already said I wasn't going to tell you.'

'Andy!' he was frustrated I could picture him standing in what use to be out kitchen almost pulling his hair out. pacing around the marble table, I wondered if it look the way that I left it or if the basket of fresh fruit that I had, was tossed and the fruit laid everywhere, or if the beers that I had bought were still there or had he drank them?

'are you at work?'

'I cant even work, I cant function with out you.'

'niall, be fucking serious. you live your life with out me, you go out with out me, you get drinks after work with to me, youre never home with me, and its a fucking battle to get you attention. realize you are with out me. I don't make or break you existence if you don't even exist with me.' there they go the tears down my face im glad he couldn't see me.

'but im not fighting with you anymore im done.' I hang up and end up calling the lawyer we had a very short conversation which ended in the divorce papers finalized by the end of the week and delivered to him.

then there was the text my heart wanted so badly.

Harry: are you safe?

I called him as well even if it were 5 seconds I would feel something that wasn't sad.

'hello?' he voice sounded like butter

'hi, I um- im safe' I breathed

'good, would you like to tell me where you are?' I hesitated

'what if...what if I wrote you a letter and sent you a post card and corny as that sounds.' I laughed

'okay, id keep it in my journal it would be our secret.' he was chuckling as well and I realized I missed him more than I thought.

'can I ask you something?' he said

'yeah go ahead.' I was sitting on the couch watching the waves hit the shore.

'are we minutes, hours, days away? are you still in Florida?' I wish I could say yes but I cant

'hours and no.' the phone was silent

'so not in Florida check.' he gave a dry laugh and I just smiled

'I have another one.'

'are we playing 20 questions. find Andy edition' I giggled

'if that's what it takes to see you then yes.'

'ask your question.'

'are you near the beach?' I looked outside to where the sun touched the water.'

'yes.'

'I miss you.' I just let it out

'I miss you too.' I couldnt stay on the phone any longer.

'I have to go my mom is calling me ill see you around.' It was to late to take it back I don't even know why I said it.

'I hope so.' I hang up the phone and call the local Chinese take out place'

and spend the rest of the day putting up my thing finding the courage to call my mom.