Cigarettes After Sex | Taejin

10

I couldn't sleep. I couldn't eat. I couldn't walk. I couldn't do anything, just think! Thoughts were filling up the small head, his heart aching so much in his chest, that it felt like it would die just now. He has been laying on the sofa for a long time now, it only has been over 6 hours and as much as he tries, he can't rest his head and go off to dreamland.

His mind felt like a mess and his whole body was numb, and the only words he knew was 'I found someone else'. What did he have to expect. That probably he and Taehyung could be happy together? That he could finally be happy in his life? No.. he gave up on happiness that day when he saw Jimin and Taehyung together. He still had hope, but now, there was not even a small bit of it.

He was lost, broken, scared and tired. He was pretty angry at Taehyung, but the sadness and the broken state left him questioning his whole emotions. He thought that maybe, maybe, Taehyung would stop his affair with Jimin and love him. He was too selfish to think that. Of course Taehyung would pick Jimin!

Jimin has everything. Has perfect looks, has a perfect body, his fashion style is just amazing, his smile would make even the most emotionless person happy, he is young, too.. while Jin. Jin was now looking more older, he was ageing, he wasn't that skinny anymore like he used to be, he wasn't as perfect as he was. Taehyung fell in love with someone that had all kinds of personalities and features, the kinds Jin never had.

Suddenly, his phone started ringing again. It was ringing all the time, but the male had no energy to pick it up. All he wanted to do all day is lay on the sofa or go to his bedroom and lay in bed all day. His heart ached more at that thought. His bedroom. No more their bedroom, now it was only his. It was starting to ache even in his head, like his mind was starting to heat up because of always thinking about that thought.

He wanted to cry even more, since they weren't even married at all, they wanted to take it slow, Jin wanted to take it slow. And now, it was his fault. He could have been happily married now and probably laying in his lover's arms right now. But just because he was stubborn, he can't live the life he wanted.

Soon, the doorbell rang. His mind went into panic, as if he thought that it might be Taehyung. His body had no strength to even get up, so he just layed there like nothing happened and like there wasn't a ringing sound echoing through the house. Soon, he heard the door unlocking and opening. He thought that it was Taehyung, so he prepared mentally and emotionally. But who came in sight was... Yoongi.

"Jin! Oh my god, Jin!" Yoongi pulled Jin in his embrace as he sat on the couch. The older's face in the younger's chest as the smaller male cried out. He wanted to feel the embrace of someone, but his mind didn't want it. He didn't want to burden anyone. All his mind wanted to do is go to his balcony and smoke the shit out of himself. But his heart wanted to feel the embrace that he was longing for so long, his heart wanted to feel warm and comforted. Was it his fault he wanted even the slightest bit of touch?

He felt disgusted. This is not what he should do right now, that's not what his mind wanted at all. It's better to die alone then die as a pathetic thing on someone's shoulder. But his heart wanted to die peacefully with the person they love, his heart wanted to be comforted, but that was just selfish for the male to ask.

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"Feeling better?" Yoongi asked as he sat on the side of the bed, right next to the laying body of his best friend. Jin was feeling numb, sick and didn't have an appetite at all. Yoongi, of course, noticed the lump figure and how the whole skin looked like paper. As the taller tried to make him eat even a little bit, he even had Hoseok come over, who is now making some small dishes for the smallest.

The two males had to investigate on why Taehyung was nowhere to be seen and how come Jin was found crying on the couch. Hoseok, who had been in multiple relationships, was pretty convinced that Taehyung broke up with Jin, while Yoongi only thought that he probably got into a fight with his lover. But, of course, he was wrong. And they all found out when Taehyung's servant came over to get some things.

Yoongi felt bad for his best friend. Taehyung was his whole world and now that he's gone, Jin is only falling apart. They weren't married, but they wanted to get married in the future and have the life that they wanted for themselves. They been together for so long and Yoongi didn't want to blame Jin for the fact that he wanted to take time for his relationship. He didn't want to blame Jin for trying to save himself.

If the ex-couple would have been married, think how heartbreaking that would be for Jin who would have to sign the divorce papers and it would be a whole new story if the male was pregnant.

Jin was always so polite, kind, caring and loving, even if the person did something so wrong to him. His heart can't take anger out of it's insides. He always thought that anger was just one of the emotions that he shouldn't show and one that he should replace with something more great. But since he did that, he can't except the fact that maybe someone is cheating or if someone is starting to become suspicious.

That is a problem. People need to have anger sometimes. Anger is an emotion that can help yourself. Like, if Jin saw Taehyung cheating, anger, of course, would build up in anyone and the person would go there and brake up with the other in one minute, plus, giving them a good slap or something. But Jin would probably freeze in his tracks and start crying, but he wouldn't even dare to go up to the other and brake up with him. Why? Because his heart can't do that.

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A/N: Helloooo, sorry guys if I haven't updated in a while. I actually have been busy these days, so yeah..

Don't worry guys, this book won't end in the next chapter, I still have plans for it.

Anyway, have a good morning, day, evening and night!