Cigarettes After Sex | Taejin

12

1 year later

The noises if people chatting, of glass clicking against glass, of vibration comeing out of the cafe's front were echoing through his mind, but it stopped once he felt burning on his tongues tip. "Ah, hot" Jin whispered-shouted as he lowered the cup of hot liquid.

Yes, he was now in a cafe taking a coffee brake from work. A lot of people may be thinking now, what happened? Well, that's a long story, but just so you know, I am recovering. Yes, I am still recovering even though it has been one year, but I just can't seem to get over him..

So, after like, a month, I was able to eat properly and talk properly. Of course, it was hard, since I didn't want to do anything but just stay in bed and think about the fact, that he left me, that I wasn't good enough... that I wasn't his love anymore, but he still was his and he still is his one and only. I know, stupid, but what to do? I am helpless since that time. My heart just can't stop beating for him, can't stop caring for him, can't stop thinking about him.

Jin knew that he had to move on, but he can't.. his heart can't. But, he's trying. He's trying to get over him like something, but he can't. He knew it will take time, so he's doing that, he's taking time for his heart to beat for himself again. So now he's here. He left his old job as a model, but he still sometimes models for some companies who have good pay and are not as bad. Yes, he loves to model in clothes and all that, but he thought, what will happen when he gets older? He won't be sexy and pretty anymore, so now, he has a cafe that is pretty successful and he loves it here.

Yoongi is still very close to him and Jin doesn't know how to thank him even more. He was always there for him, he was always there for when he was at his lowest point and the male can't thank him even more. Hoseok talked to him about the fact, that, not everyone is for life and that he will have accept that. Jin thanks Hoseok for his time of talking to him and appreciates it. While Namjoon helped him in talking everything out and now, he's here. He's feeling better and he is better now.

And about his habits... bad habits. He still hasn't quit smoking, but what to do? When he got so addicted to it, how can he quit it? Yes, he still smokes for stress relief and for when he needs to build himself up together, but that habit just builded up and now he still can't seem to get rid of it. Yoongi is probably the most person that criticises him for it since he still does it, but that's just Yoongi being Yoongi and Jin loves Yoongi for who he is.

Everyone have been giving him thoughts about dating someone again and he have thought about it. He wants to and he has gone on some dates, he even went to a date with a girl, but that ended up with him and the girl fighting about the fact that he looked so gay. She was homophobic so he realised one more time that he's fully gay. Well, now, he only wants girls as friends or best friends, because heck, the thought of his dick in a vagina just makes him shiver and feel a little disgusted.

Other straight men love it, but he doesn't that much, he most likely would love a hot dude to rail him, but that's just him.

He told his parents about him and Taehyung breaking up and they didn't react nor good, nor bad. Mom was very caring about me, not wanting me to be sad or something, while dad, well, he almost called Taehyung's dad to talk about the fact that one of the Kim's cheated on their love, but of course, J had to stop him because it was no use anymore and that Taehyung has another, so Jin has to somehow move on too.

Well, maybe a lot of people may be wondering, what about the time when he raped you? Well, Jin still didn't tell anyone about it.. he doesn't want to talk about something that he so much regrets, especially that part. It's just, too much for him. When he thinks of it.. all he can think of that time is disgust and hatred. Yes, he has gotten better, but not fully. Of course, he knows that, that memory will always be another scar that someone left and he wants no one to know..

It was hard this year, but everything is now almost ok. He still can't seem to get over Taehyung, even though he tries so hard, it just can't seem to work. But at least it isn't as heartbreaking as before. He now is a little better then before, but it's hard to forget a person that you loved so much, more then yourself.

Sometimes, he forgets Taehyung, but then somehow he remembers the great memories with him and that just can't seem to get out of his head. They were together for 8 years, how can he get over him when people can't get over someone who they were with for 1 month. It broke Jin's heart to see Taehyung throw his feelings and heart away like garbage. He was devastated.

But now. He was alone. Without Taehyung by his side. He was now somewhere and with someone and Jin wants Taehyung to come back so that he can feel his warm embrace once more, so that he could hear that deep ground voice echoing through his mind again, to feel his warm and thin lips once more. The more that Jin thinks about the great things about Taehyung, the more he can't get over him. Yes, their relationship was amazing and he wants that back... but... he can't..

And he has to except that, even if he really doesn't want to..

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A/N: Finally, an update.

Sorry, that, it's so late, it's just that my personal life has been just a roller coaster. If you know what I mean...

But anyways, I think this book might be coming to an end... so tell me guys, what ending are you all hoping for?

Yeah, that's it, so, have a great day, night.