His blood on my hands

Kendra five

Monday morning, with 4 more days until my plan is in motion. I can't wait to see his eyes as I stab him, I can't wait to see his face lose color. For him to writhe in pain.

"Kendra, wait up." Cadrian calls to me.

We walk to our first class together, then sit down.

"So are you ready for finals?"

"Yeah, are you?"

"Not really."

"What do you mean 'not really'? I'm the one who's been teaching you, that's a direct offense."

"I mean, I was too busy staring at you to pay attention." He smirks.

I can be charming too.

I don't say anything, just stare straight into his eyes. I stare so deeply, so intently.

He stares back at me.

It's like both of us have each other checkmated. Both of us are playing the same game, the same way. And I'll win.

Professor starts talking and I break eye contact. But not before I look at his lips, quickly, as if I secretly desire them.

I can almost feel him doing his charming smile.

Class goes by, the final is easy.

A few more classes, then I'm heading to the library, the sun is setting.

"So, I guess no more tutoring, huh?" He's following me like a lost puppy.

"I mean, finals are this week, there's not much more I can teach you."

"Do you want to do something again? Maybe a walk?"

"I can't, I have to study." I say, even though I don't.

"Playing hard to get, I see."

Yes.

"Cadrian, I have to study." I say, playfully changing my tone.

"Kendra," he says, matching my tone, "you're the smartest kid at this Academy, you don't need to study."

I look at him.

"Come on, let's just do something. We only have a few more days before graduation."

Only a few more days until you're dead.

"Fine."

He smiles.

We walk on a trail, talking. Not about ourselves, but about stars. He's afraid of the unknown. So am I. We talk about endlessness, and death. We talk about all the things that I think about constantly.

After an hour, it begins raining. We continue walking. The rain starts pouring, and we're completely wet. Of Course I left my cloak in my room.

Cadrian laughs, "Kendra you're drenched."

"So are you, idiot." I shoot back.

He smiles, and puts his cloak on me.

We see some type of structure on the other side of the field and start running across the wet grass. I feel wind in my hair, and my legs feel so free. I feel so weightless, like I'm flying. And for a moment, a quick moment, I forget it's an act.

There's a small library and behind it, an alleyway, held up by giant posts. We walk into the alley, and it's suddenly so quiet. The roar of rain turns into a slight sputtering.

Both of us, tired, laugh as we sit, our backs leaning against the wall.

"That was crazy." He says.

I look at the way the water drips off his hair.

"Yeah."

For a while, we sit in silence. The rain doesn't stop. I feel my eyes get heavy. But I can't fall asleep. He could do anything after I sleep.

I force my eyes open, then in a couple minutes I hear a quiet snore. He's asleep. I still try to stay awake but after a couple minutes, I too fall asleep.

When I wake up his head's on my shoulder, and my head's on his. It's still dark outside. I check my phone and it's only been three hours.

This is almost too perfect. I could kill him right now. It would be so simple, he'd be half dead before he even realized. But I don't have my dagger.

Could I go and get it? No. He would wake up. And it would take at least an hour. What a wasted opportunity. But perhaps the silver lining; he trusts me. Why? He knows I'm trying to kill him, right? Unless I was wrong, unless he doesn't know. Maybe he thinks I'm wrapped around his finger. Well, this is perfect. Perhaps he's not as intelligent as I took him for.

A couple more hours go by, and I'm left alone with my thoughts. Thinking about stars and the world; all the things I'll never see, never understand, never be more than. The sun starts to rise and I nudge him awake, knowing we would get in trouble if we didn't head back.

"Good morning." He says, his voice raspy, his eyes tired.

"Hey sleepyhead."

"How long were you awake?"

"I just woke up."

I don't know why I lied. Maybe I wanted him to underestimate me. To think I trusted him completely.

Both of us get up and start walking, the grass is so slushy. My boots are muddy. After a little over one and a half hours, we're back.

"Bye Kendra." He looks at me like I'm a midnight in Paris, or a foggy morning on the mountains.

"Bye Cadrian."

It's almost like we're both trying to hold in a laugh.

I'm back to my room; Jamia and Belle are just waking up.

"Hi Ken, where have you been?"

She sounds so excited, so interested. She's disappointed when I tell her I've been studying.

"Nice cloak." Jamia nods her head in my direction. In such a sly, sneaky way. As if she's caught me.

"Oh yeah, Kendra, whose cloak is that?" Her eyes are almost glowing, she's teasing me.

I smile shyly, and tell them to shut up and they laugh. I feel as though the whole world is wrapped around my finger, everything is going to fit in place.

"So, three more days." Belle says, "You excited to go home?"

"Yeah, I'm excited."

Not to go home. But excited nonetheless.

The rest of the day was uneventful, I had a few classes and I was back in my room at 7.

I have time now, what should I do with it?

Ah, I head down to the gym. I start punching a bag, treating it like a person. Like Cadrian. I pretend to stab it. It's quite silly but I feel more prepared now.

I head to sleep.