His blood on my hands

Belle six

Today an invitation to the Annual England ball arrived in the mail. It has been a long lasting tradition for the largest nation of Europe to hold a ball in summer. It's supposed to show unity and peace amongst the nations. No one can remember a time when it wasn't England, it's been hundreds of years. For the past few years, they've been slacking. They still had the balls, but only invited a few people from each nation, and one year they even forgot to invite a couple nations. But this year the invitation read,

Invite your friends

And bring your best spirits,

This year's ball will be remembered for ages.

I suppose that's why we were invited. I've never been to the ball, I hope my parents decide to go. They won't feel obliged to though, since we're not direct royalty. Sometimes it's nice to not be royalty. There would be so many complications. So many more rules. And, we're rich anyways. But once in a while I long for the life of a royal. Growing up, knowing that one day, you will have the throne of an entire nation.

I bring the invitation to my mother who is sitting inside, reading a book.

"Mother?"

"What is it, can't you see I'm trying to focus?"

"I apologize, the invitation for the Annual England ball came in the mail today."

"Odd. I didn't expect to be invited." She motioned to the counter.

I set it down and she continued her book.

Only once I reached my room, I realized what this could mean. Jamia. I could see her again. Just for a moment or two perhaps, but that's all I really need. I had thought about this before. How it would be if we saw each other. I fantasized about it, though I knew it wouldn't happen. I wasn't sure what I would say to her, after what she did. After how we left each other. Without even a goodbye. Were we really that fragile? That we couldn't last more than a day. I resolved that if I ever saw her again, for any reason, I would forgive her. Whether she apologized or not.

Because that's what you do when you love someone. Unreasonably. And she might not anymore. But I do, regardless.

In the afternoon, Claud invited me for a walk. I threw on my robe from school and stepped out of the door.

"I'm just going for a walk. I'll return shortly." I say to my parents, both of whom are sitting in the living room.

Neither of them answered.

"Hey, belle."

"Hi."

We walk for a bit, and the sun begins to set, casting an orange hue on the earth. Like a kiss from the sky. With this Robe around me, I'm reminded of Jamia. Our walk in the dark. And how we never ran out of things to talk about.

"So, were you invited to the ball?"

"I actually was, oddly enough."

"Oh? It's been years since you guys have been invited."

"Yeah, and last time we were, I was too young to attend."

"I'm excited for you."

"I don't even know if we're going."

We reached the pond. I used to come to this pond almost everyday. For hours I would sit, enjoying the frogs jumping from lily pad to lily pad. I would sit with my thoughts, having no one to tell them to. Then me and Claud became closer and I started bringing him with me sometimes. Then, time went on, and we would come together everyday. And occasionally, I told him some of the things I was thinking. But most other times, we would talk about the usual things. Like news, and events. Families and sometimes, secrets.

I remember I came here one last time before I left for the Academy. I came by myself, and I sat for thirteen hours on end. It was so peaceful and bright. I liked watching the sunlight and the bees, going from flower to flower. In the same way that birds went from tree to tree. The squirrels would get startled when I would move. So I stayed still, and a couple squirrels came so near to me that I could reach out and touch them. The sounds of the water were calming too. I like life. And the constant reminder that it is all around. Jamia says that the prospect of death brings her peace. I agree. But, I can find peace in life and in death. She doesn't look for peace in life. She saves it all for death.