Blythe Tatum expected her freshman year at university to be nerve-wracking, though nothing out of the ordinary. The beginning of her school year starts off as averagely as possible, though Blythe soon finds herself caught up in an unexpected and ine...
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It's not that I want to keep the fact that I've been going out with Jacob Beckham a secret, it's just that I haven't exactly told anyone yet.
It's not like I don't want to tell anyone—I just can't seem to find the right time to share the news with those closest to me.
The last few times Ben and I have been able to tear Ivy away from her laptop long enough to hang out with us, the right time to tell my friends that I've been seeing someone just never arose. Conversation always seems out of my hands, mostly dictated by school or The Cardinal. So I keep the news of Jacob to myself, even though I'm dying to talk about it.
Kehlani is the only person I see on a daily basis that I can gush about Jacob to, which seems to have brought the two of us closer. I find myself going out to do things with Kehlani more often, and she brings out a side of me I didn't know existed. We talk about boys and clothes and makeup, and under her wing I find myself becoming more interested in these topics. She teaches me how to perfect the art of winged eyeliner, as well as helping to update my rather outdated wardrobe.
When my mom calls every other day to ask how things are going at school, I always find mentioning Jacob right on the tip of my tongue, yet something holds me back from telling my mother I'm dating. Since I've never really seriously dated anyone before, I know Mom would go crazy over the news. I'm certain that she'd drive me insane over wanting to know every detail about the boy I'm seeing, and she'd discuss wanting to meet him . . . basically guaranteeing to scare Jacob away before things can go anywhere further between the two of us. Plus, I'm still uncertain as to how serious Jacob and I actually are. We have yet to put a label on our newfound relationship, so it still feels too early to be talking to my mother about anything.
However, I spend every free second I can manage to spare with Jacob, which honestly isn't much. I'm so swamped with classes and assignments that I feel as if I barely have time to breathe, though Jacob seems to understand. He has football practice almost as often as I have meetings for the paper, which leaves him constantly busy as well.
Yet I love every moment I get to spend with him, finding myself falling harder and harder for Jacob Beckham as time draws itself out. I begin to like him almost too much, to what feels like a dangerous point. Feeling the way I do for him before anything is official scares me, because I don't want to end up hurt. And yet I can't seem to control myself, which is odd considering my very rational personality. Jacob has seemed to bring out a side of me I never quite knew existed until the moment we met. It's thrilling and sexy and terrifying all at once.
Furthermore, the police still seem to have no new updates on Naomi and what exactly happened to her, and the unanswered questions everyone seems to have leaves a darkness lingering in the air around campus. So far, the police have declared Naomi's death a homicide, though no idea as to which type. Nor do they have any suspects at the moment. Apparently, DNA testing did little to uncover what exactly might have happened to her and by whose hands. Knowing that whoever hurt Naomi fatally is still wandering around campus makes me feel ill. I'm starting to think that I'll never get over the frightened feeling I experience every time I step outside; that I will never break the habit of walking too fast and constantly glancing over my shoulder out of fear.
And maybe I shouldn't break the habit. After all, I have no idea who could have done such a terrible thing to Naomi, or why they did something so horrid. I'll never know just how close the killer could really be.
——— a/n: unfortunately, i just recently contracted Covid. please get vaccinated, wear your masks, and stay safe y'all—this virus is seriously no joke!
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