Lady Eilean

Chapter 42

The onslaught of my morning was never-ending. Scarcely a second after Alex made his departure, Innis pushed through the door, her face like thunder.

A chambermaid trailed after her, helplessly trying to announce the woman's presence. With a sigh of exasperated failure as Innis overtook her, she slapped her hands against her thighs and slumped off to clear the breakfast dishes.

Innis wore a pale blue gown. It shimmered like frost in the morning light. Momentarily weak and prone to feelings of insufficiency, I was jealous of her finery. Her self-possession. The truth that in appearance and behavior she was the Lady I would never, ever be.

"Sit," I said, my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. I slid into an armchair by the fire and let my head roll back onto the cushion.

Innis followed suit, perching on the edge of the chair, posture perfect. She studied the room, her nose crinkling at the sight of the yet-unmade bed. The sheets mussed on both sides. It was clear I had not slept alone and here she was, another witness to my impropriety. I cared less and less. Let her judge.

Innis opened her mouth to speak, but then glanced at the maid. She shot me a pleading look.

I dismissed the maid, asking for her to return in a quarter-hour.

Thus alone, I steeled myself against whatever Innis had to say.

"Are you alright?" She asked with surprising gentleness.

I blinked, squinting at her. I had never known Innis to inquire after my well-being. "Fine enough," I groused. "Can I help you?"

Innis eyed the bed one last time and then shook her head, clearing whatever thoughts raced there. "My father is sending a troupe to come to collect me." She said matter-of-fact, cocking her head as if it amused her. Her fresh ringlets bounced against her cheek. "I thought I would give you an advance warning that there might be some brutes showing up and demanding to take me home."

I frowned at her. "Will he stop at nothing?"

"Ha!" Innis barked, blowing through her veneer of ladylike grace. A madness glimmered behind her eyes. "No, I dare say he will not."

"Maybe their boat will capsize and they will drown on their way here," I suggested.

Innis smiled at that. "Yes, maybe so."

A grimace was my reply. The conversation, her presence, grated on my frayed nerves. I did not want to be rude, but I was very close to ordering her out of my chambers as well so I could sulk.

"It's not easy," Innis said, her voice gentle.

"What isn't?"

"The position we've put ourselves in. We have to keep going, even when everything feels like it's falling apart. When we feel like falling apart."

I looked at her, tears stinging behind my eyes. Blinking furiously, I waved away her concern. "It's nothing. I am being terrible when you are being hunted by your own father. I am sorry you have to experience that."

"Now that I've been a Laird, or as much of one as I could be, it's strange. I understand my father more, now." Innis sniffed and rolled her eyes. "I don't agree, of course. But I can accept the way a million decisions and their consequences have to be constantly juggled."

A small smile conceded from me and I shook my head. "I don't know if I can ever understand the need my father had for conquest and bloodshed. He did all this. You wouldn't be facing death if my father hadn't started the war."

I heard it for the almost-lie that it was. Hadn't Innis been complicit in my request for starting a central library? Wasn't I tracking down documents from across the world to establish precedents for what might happen in the future? Not all battles happened in muddy fields with bloodshed. Some happened on paper with documentation.