Lady Eilean

Chapter 54

"First things first, you are not unnatural," Calum swore as we burst into the courtyard.

The night air held me, smothered my skin with its sticky caress.

"Has she always been like that with you? Bess mentioned it, but I never thought it was that bad." Walther said. Bess elbowed him in the side and shook her head.

"She's cocked half to hell if she thinks any of us are in a state to run Ellesmure." Rupert slapped me on the back. I buckled under the force of it. "Sorry, old girl"."

"Do you mean Mama or Eilean?" Robert asked.

"Eilean, of course. You piece of —"

"What's interesting to me," Ian said, cutting Rupert off, "is how divided the court is. I've felt the schism since we've been back, but tonight serious cracks showed."

"Right," Alex said, "the women and children left behind see Eilean as the rightful Laird. The returning soldiers still back Malcolm."

"Happily, for us, those women and children are the solider's families. We could use the influence of their experiences under Eilean to change minds." Calum's eyes sparkled as the challenge opened before him.

Ian smiled at both of them with delight, enjoying the puzzle. He seemed alert, familiar. The Ian I had once known.

"I say you abscond with her," Robert suggested to Alex. "There are boats in the harbor. You could be out to sea within the hour if you don't care to take anything with you. She did once brag about retaliating against us all as Lady Leslie. Make an honest woman out of her, Alex. Give her the gift of her wildest dreams come true."

I opened my mouth to respond to that, but Bess cut me off.

"Eilean can't leave us to deal with you lot," she hissed. "We need her. She'd never forgive herself."

"Are any of us fit to rule?" John said, scratching his chin. "I was going to renounce my title, anyway. I hate this castle. All those people. The stone walls. I rather liked the wildness of the war. Meredith and I want to find some raw country and put this all behind us."

"Fitness notwithstanding, you'd have to kill your father or lobby across Ellesmure for the men to pledge fealty to someone else at the Gathering," Calum said.

"Do that," Innis growled. "The killing."

Everyone laughed at her. Their amusement was uneasy and grim.

It was extraordinary how they could talk and think for me while I stood amongst them. Had I been in a fitter state of mind, I might have railed against them with all the venom and violence raging in my heart. I might have taken hold of the conversation and proposed my own solutions, but I felt defeated. No master plan, no simple way out made itself known to me. Spent, I let them talk. Their voices swirled around me — I heard and understood none of it. Fighting to keep myself from falling into shattered pieces, I wrapped my arms around my torso and pressed my lips together. Inside I wanted to scream until my throat shredded to a pulp.

Eventually, Innis noticed my reticence and placed her hand on my shoulder. "Eilean? Can I speak to you? Alone?"

Nodding, I let her pull me to the side of the courtyard. My entire body was numb. Cold, despite the oppressive summer heat. Her hand was so hot against mine, which had turned to ice. The moonlight fell across her face with brutal clarity and she looked at me, frowning.

"Are you alright?" She asked.

A scream ripped from my chest through my throat and I howled in anguish. Any restraint or composure vanished, and I cried as if my very soul were breaking apart. The group on the other side of the courtyard fell silent. I could feel their eyes on me. They watched with varying degrees of concern.