Sonicphobia

Chapter Twenty: Busted!

Warning: Do not try what Alison Hedgehog does at home. I don't give a flying fuck if it sounds like a good prank. Just... don't. And also, here is a disclaimer: poison ivy should not be used in any romantic endeavors, as a means of revenge, or as a lotion. For those of you underaged and having a bullying issue, don't say that I didn't warn you, because I did.

I scampered to Tails' class. It was relatively normal, aside from Tails adjusting his goggles in a way that screamed, I'm watching you, kid. Surprisingly, Tina made zero jabs about my lack of parents or even a nasty comment. To be honest, she has been surprisingly nice. Maybe a little bit too nice. I thought suspiciously as I adjusted the GPU. We were building PCs that day, and mine happened to be themed around Portal.

It was the same response to Tina every class. Even Ben was being begrudgingly friendly to me. If karma was a bitch and revenge was sweet, I'm going to be the sweetest bitch at STH Academy. I thought.

At lunch, I finally figured out why my bullies were being surprisingly nice to me. I sat down and I hear one of the girls at the Amy table squeal happily, "You're telling us that this new girl in the Sonic House happened to have lube on her?" Then I hear shushing. I hear another girl whisper, "What is this lube called again?"

"Ivy Dream." Tina whispered back. I kept eating quietly as Tina gushed softly, "I may have been rough on her, but I had no idea that she has knowledge of that sort of thing." I had to keep eating and keep a straight face (which was hard to do! I kept having the urge to laugh every time they talked about... the thing). Thankfully, I finished lunch without choking from laughter, then I managed to make it to French class.

Sonic was already in the classroom, and he was staring at me. Damn it. He knows. I thought. I swallowed nervously and greeted the blue hedgehog, "Afternoon, Headmaster." I was hoping that being polite might make Sonic forget about the encounter with Ben.

It obviously didn't work, since Sonic still glared at me. I never thought I'd admit this, but when Sonic stares at you for too long, that means that you probably should start digging your own grave (Long story. I've seen it happen). Anyway, as Sonic started teaching class, I piped up (a rarity since Sonic's scarier than Satan when he knows that something is up with you), "Professor, how do you say 'I love you' in French?"

Sonic replied, his voice having an odd tilt, "Je t'aime. Pourquoi, Alison?"

I replied, "Pour mon copain." It wasn't entirely a lie, since Damien did ask me to be his girlfriend online. I agreed, but that is to protect me from Ben and Tina. I haven't even met the dude, much less heard his voice. But as class continued, I made a mistake. I asked, "Voulez-vous couche avec moi ce soir?"

Sonic was so shocked that he scolded me in front of the entire class, "Watch your mouth, kid!" Little fun fact for you reading this: Sonic has three ways of addressing people, but with me, he has a few more. He usually addresses me as "Al," which used to irk me when I had my para at my old high school, but Sonic is different and I find it kind of endearing when he calls me that. "Kid" is a friendly warning to him, "Alison" is a less friendly warning, and "Alison Hedgehog" means that I should duck for cover and hide until he simmers down. He has yet to address me as "Ali May" (thank god). So if Sonic the Hedgehog addresses you by your full name, do yourself a favor and hide since running is obviously not going to do you any favors.

After that, class ended with Sonic telling me to stay back. "Alison, that question you asked was... how do you humans say it? No bueno. So do me a favor: do not use that question in my class again." Sonic chided, his emerald green eyes glaring into my eyes. I averted my gaze, mumbling apologies as he continued, "And whatever you are planning, if it's bad, be prepared for the consequences." I flinched at his sharp tone, even though Sonic is reclining in his seat.

"Yes, Headmaster." I replied, and I added as Sonic's chair began tilting back, "You're going to fall."

"Alison." Sonic's tone was obviously a warning, that was, it was a warning until he crashed to the floor. I couldn't help but laugh at him. His muzzle was burning an odd crimson-blue color. I quickly left, for fear that Sonic would lose his temper. Little tidbit here: when Sonic's angry and embarrassed at the same time, he turns into Darkspine.

I raced out, breathing in the cold March air. Green Hill Zone was at the border of spring, but not quite. It still gets fucking cold out here. Once, Airalain and I measured the temperature outside just for shits and giggles, and the thermomether winds up reading -59 degrees Farenheit. I admired how the ground was just an icy white and the Sonic House glowed warmly.

I entered, shaking the snow off my shoes. I was surprised that the iconic red and white sneakers Sonic wears are waterproof. I tried everything to get them wet, from leaving them in a bucket of water to showering with them.

But anyway, as I was entering the Sonic House, I hear a lot of chatter from the human lounge and I enter. I see other students cluster together and they seem to be laughing at something. I asked one of the students, curious, "So, what's up?"

Someone replied, "Ben and Tina both have rashes on their parts! Someone laced their lube with poison ivy!" Everyone giggled, and I smirked at them. Then another kid asked, "Who was the mastermind behind this? I would love to thank them!"

I replied, "That would be me." Every student turned to stare at me and the boys gawked. I can see why. They wouldn't think that a girl would do that. I thought with a smug grin. Then everyone started applauding and hugging me. I think that Tina made everyone at the Sonic House miserable at one point. I hear people cheering my name and I got a lot of compliments.

My happy moment had to end shortly, unfortunately. I hear Sonic yell, "Alison Hedgehog! See me in my study immediately!" I turned around and I blanched. Sonic the Hedgehog was standing at the door. His peach arms were crossed and he appeared to be pissed.