Salvador

FINAL CHAPTER

Mona

I think I'm dreaming. Dreaming of my childhood. Of bloody bodies downstairs and in the garden. Of comforting words from my mother and cold looks from my father. Of shouting and gunshots and suddenly dad's friend or accomplice that always came over, is gone forever.

I'm dreaming of all my killings. Of being trained. Of being a weapon. I'm dreaming of school, having no real friends, being feared by all; teachers and students alike.

I'm dreaming of drowning. Being pushed down viciously by the world around me. Sinking into depression, each time a bullet misses my head feels like a bullet wasted. I'm dreaming of how much I longed for death back then. How every time they missed their shot, I didn't sigh with relief, I sighed because I knew that it wasn't the end.

And I'm dreaming of Salvador. My saviour. I was drowning when he saved me. I was sinking and I was almost at the bottom. But he saved me.

I was depressed. Running away, contemplating suicide. I felt like I had become a sociopath. Because I no longer felt when I killed, I no longer cried for their lost souls. I was hollow, I was just nothing. When he found me, or when I found him, everything changed. I went from empty to full.

He found me again. He found that part of me that was sinking. That part of me that almost died. That part of me that started dying when I saw all those bloody bodies in the garden and the house.

We don't talk about our traumas, we don't have to. All he needs to know is that he saved me...he saved me. I need to tell him. I need him to know how much I'm grateful. How much I love him.

"Mona! Mona! Wake up Mona, please!" I hear his voice calling me. Shards of light hit my eyes. Blinding me. I have to push myself out of this dreamworld.

I open my eyes. Salvador's head is rested on my hand. I can feel the wetness of his tears.

"Salvador..." I croak and he looks up in shock.

"Am i dreaming?" He whispers tiredly.

"No." I whisper, I'm in so much pain but I still smile at the irony.

He wipes his tears away in sudden embarrassment, causing me to smile slightly.

"Mona..." he thinks of what to say, but appears speechless "just...never leave me again" He exclaims quietly and embraces me, it hurts but I ignore the pain, because I need him, I need to hold him.

"I love you." I whisper and he smiles at me.

"I love you too." He replies breathlessly.

***

I stay in the hospital for another two weeks. Salvador doesn't leave my side except to get nice food and water. He sits there all the time and sleeps on the bed with me.

Sometimes, in the night, he exits the room and I can hear him shouting through the phone.

"Keep him there! I'll kill him myself!" He shouts, in Portuguese.

When that bullet hit me, for the first time, in a very long time, I had hoped and prayed and wished that I would survive. If that had happened before I met Salvador, I would be miserable at the fact that I woke up in this hospital bed. But now, I'm grateful, and I'll use all the precious time we have left.