Healing // d.m.

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Catherine,

I hate you
You lied to me
You promised you would think of me. You promised that we will stay alive.
All those words I threw at you did it go in vain?

You have successfully destroyed me, Catherine.
You left and you took my heart with you
You took my home and broke it into irreplaceable pieces
I want it back

I wish I never met you.
Not now, not then and not in another lifetime
You lied to me.
I hate you.

Draco

———

Catherine,

I'm sorry
I promise myself that I'll try to not be mad at you
I'm trying my fucking best
But erasing this hate and anger means accepting that you are gone
That you are really out of this world and out of my reach
I'm not ready for it to shatter me completely
So let me be angry for a little longer

Draco

———

Catherine,

I realised, no one has ever loved me like you do
I used to think I did not know what love meant anymore, until your kisses proved me wrong.
Then I found happiness, they were in your eyes.
You're my last. I said it before and I will say it again
There will be no one else after you
Just like you did once ago, I swear I won't love again

Draco

———

Catherine,

How am I supposed to recover from a love so life changing, that its death in return changed my life. The answer is you don't. You never recover

So can't you just come back to me?

Draco

———

Catherine,

I think the moon knows you as much as I do by now. I talk to him more than I talk to the sun, because when the sky gets dark it mimics the life inside my heart. When I shout to him every night, he must wonder when will I ever stop talking about you?

The answer is never. I'll never stop telling the world about you.

I look into his companion of stars. I can't help but stare. Hoping that somewhere, at some safe place, you're looking at them with me.

You told me to scream and it will make me feel better, so I did.

I screamed your name.
Screamed it into the void and hoped that it would release the frustration, the anger, the pain.

I screamed, Catherine.
I screamed a million times.
It doesn't work without you beside me.

Come back to me,
Draco

———

My Catherine,

How do you stop loving someone?
Love does not understand the laws of life and death. It crosses the skies and all the universe in between us. I didn't believe that until you left.

So how do I unlove you, my love. How can I unlove the person that made me believe in the idea of love?

They say you never stop loving, but you only find someone you will love even more. What they don't understand is that I don't want more love.

I just want you.

Come home to me,
Draco

———

My love,

I don't believe in an omnipresent God that rules over our lives or that his angels surround us and guide us through.

But today, for you, I believed and I prayed.

I pray that you feel no pain and that no harm touches you ever again
I pray that you're happy in the arms of the one you loved dearly and for God to keep you safe
I pray He takes care of you, in the ways that now I cannot do.

I know I can't pray to have you back
I can't pray to have you in this reality anymore
So I pray that I'll see you every night in my dreams, hoping that will be enough until I see you again.

Your darling,
Draco

———

Ma chérie,

I will never regret knowing you. If they asked me to rewrite my life, I would not change a thing. Not even to erase all the dark times I spend trapped being someone I hated to be.

I would go through the times when I was too broken to live and have you heal me all over again. I would do it, because all those paths lead me to you.

And even if it's only to know you for the cruel short time we had, I would not mind at all.

I would replay our forever,
Over and over.
Until I don't regret a single thing.

Your home,
Draco