Mistakes And Regrets

What Do You Mean 3?

"Okay so we have a slight issue," the doctor told April after she had noticed that there seemed to be more than one heart beat.

      "What slight issue! What's going on?" April quickly asked as she was still in shock by what was happening right now. She wasn't in much pain anymore as she had just been given an epidural but she was still in complete shock.

       "Well it seems that due to the fact that you've never actually been to any appointments and never officially had an ultrasound that you were unaware of the two other babies that are inside of you right now," the doctor told April who just froze as she looked at her like she was insane.

       "Wait what! No! I'm not having triplets! That's like impossible. I can't have triplets!" April cried out as she knew triplets were higher complications and that was even more terrifying. She didn't even have anyone here with her to help.

        "Yes I'm aware that you're shocked right now but I can assure you that we're not mistaken and you do have 3 little ones in there. You hear those three beats that's all 3 heart beats and if you look at the screen. That's baby A, baby b, and the tiniest one trying to hide over here is baby c," the doctor told April as she pointed to the screen and showed April her 3 babies.

       April tried to resist her urge to look at the screen as she was still in denial and also didn't want to get attached. If she couldn't even afford one baby there was no way she could afford 3.

        However she just couldn't resist her temptation as her eyes slowly made their way to the screen where she caught sight of the three tiny babies on the screen and her heart melted right away as she let out a small smile despite how scared she was for not only delivery but for the future as well.

        As now she's completely questioning her decision for adoption even though she knows deep down that she has nothing prepared at all and definitely can't afford any of this.

        "So as you can see we weren't lying. Now I'm sure that you're aware of the complications with triplets. So we're going to have to get you in for an emergency c section right now," the doctor told April, whose eyes widened in fear as she snapped out of her trance. She definitely didn't like the sound of that.

       "You mean like surgery on my stomach! Why can't I just give birth the pushing way! I barely even feel anything right now! I would rather give birth that way! Please, I'm scared! I don't want to be cut open," April screamed out hysterically as she wasn't ready for this at all.

        She didn't want to have doctors cut open her stomach and mess with her organs. The thought of that was completely terrifying and she had no one to keep her calm and distract her.

        Her dad lives in Wisconsin along with Nick and everyone else she grew up with. The only person she knew here was Deco and she was pretty sure he would not want to be in the room while she was having a c section and 3 babies ripped out of her.

        The doctor just sighed as she knew April was scared but she also knew that it was more dangerous for all 4 of them to do it the way April wanted.

         That would require her to have to push out 3 babies almost all at once and that would be way too much work for April and the babies as well.

        "I know you're scared but I can assure you that you won't feel a thing and you are going to get the best care available to you I promise. I know you rather do it with pushing however that is more dangerous for not just you but for your babies as well. So unfortunately a c section is our only option at this point. You're going to do great okay," the doctor told April in her calm voice as she tried to calm her down while they wheeled her to the operating room for her emergency c section.

        "No! I can't! I don't want this! Please no! I don't want it! Get me out of here!" April cried out hysterically as she started thrashing and trying to get up even though she was numb from the epidural and could barely even move from the waist down.

        April continued to thrash until she couldn't anymore as she fell into the darkness. "Hey look who's finally up," April woke up to making her look around in confusion as she couldn't remember much of what happened after she had been told she needed an emergency c section.

       "Huh what's going on?" April asked out of confusion, making the nurse smile a little as she could tell April was having a rough time. "Well congrats you're a mother of 3 strong and brave little girls," the nurse told April who looked at the nurse in shock.

     "I have 3 daughters?" April asked, making the nurse smile as she nodded. "Yes you do. And they're all 3 doing so well in the NICU. They're definitely little fighters. Would you like to go and see them," the nurse told April, making her smile a little at the thought of having 3 little girls and being a mom before a sad realization hit her.

      She couldn't keep them. She wouldn't be able to afford them and especially not now with how high the medical bills were going to be with 3 premature infants in the NICU. She definitely can't afford that even if she wanted to.

     "Oh um I don't know. I don't know how I really feel seeing them like that. And I don't even know if I'm going to keep them yet. I've been thinking about adoption for a while now. Plus I'm still in serious amounts of pain right now from my C section. I don't think it would be a very good idea," April rambled out to the nurse as she wanted to see her babies so badly and be there for them but she didn't want to get attached to them when she was going to be losing them.

     The nurse just nodded in understanding as she looked at April again this time with a more serious look.

    "I understand that this can be a hard time for you and you probably are scared and worried, but I am telling you now that your babies need you. They need their mommy to help them to get better. They need love and support. Even if you're not sure about whether you're keeping them or not just at least come and support them just once. You're going to regret it if you don't," the nurse told April as she wanted April to come and see the babies at least once.

     She had seen and cared for NICU babies all the time and the babies with the most love and support always seemed to do better than the ones without any support from family.

     April just closed her eyes as she took a deep breath and broke down sobbing as she tried to just take it all in. She didn't know what to do anymore.

    This was all becoming too much for her. She was 18 years old, miles away from home, and with no support whatsoever. And now she was suddenly being entrusted with the care of 3 newborns. Not just newborns but 3 premature newborns that April wasn't prepared at all for. She didn't even have any baby stuff at all.

     Finally after a few more minutes of April sobbing and just trying to take it all in she looked at the nurse again and nodded. "Okay I'll go and see them," April told the nurse.