Charlotte's Story

Coming Home

Ryder's POV:

I am not surprised when I hear Ren stepping out of her condo, following me; it would have been what I would have done if she had shown up at my house unannounced.

Her eyes let me know she is confused and doesn't know what to do. We were both in the same boat. It was hard not to remember every feeling I felt when she was in my life.

Back in college, I had never fully realized how hard I had fallen for Ren until she had left to go home. I came home after a workout, the apartment was quiet.

Usually, I could hear Ren in her room, listening to music while she typed whatever she did and worked on homework. But there were none of the usual noises I got used to hearing when I got home.

Her door was ajar; I push it forward-looking inside. Sitting on her bed was what looked like the contents of her book bag. Her dresser drawers were opened, and the light in her closet was still on. I stepped out, looking around the living room and kitchen, and then the white piece of paper on my door had me walking over to it.

Had to go home to Ohio - Ren

I reread the paper a dozen times before sitting it on the counter. My mind went through every horrible scenario; multiple of them had me wondering if Ren would leave Maine in the wake of whatever was going on back home.

I wondered if she had gotten homesick. I would have been homesick the first month with how I treated her, but then after that, we were friends, we did a lot of things together. And if it wasn't her and me together, either Mandy or Luke was with her.

She wouldn't leave Maine...

Unless something horrible happened.

"Hello" my sister picked up the fourth time I called her. "What do you need?"

"Ren went home."

"Okay?" she said, clearly not getting the picture.

"She went home to Ohio." I swallowed, not realizing my mouth was dry. I was too worried about her to notice anything else. I had texted Ren, but no response came, which made me worry even more.

"Did she say why?"

"She left a fucking note; I don't know why she left," I huffed out at her.

"Okay...  Ryder, just calm down, I'm sure something just came up, and you know she had to go home." Mandy, unlike my brothers, was not getting amusement out of my distress.

"She should have at least left something to tell me what is going on." I was mumbling, having no clue what was going on with me. "She isn't returning my text messages; I even called her...."

"Ryder..." Mandy said after I calmed down. "I think you like her," she said. I could hear her smile over the phone.

"Don't you think I fucking know that? But, I can't date my roommate." I clicked off.

The three days dragged on while she was gone; I cleaned and organized, hoping she would notice; it was miserable not knowing what was going on. Luke texted her, she texted him back, but when I called, she wouldn't pick up her damn phone.

I was ready to fly to Ohio myself.

Space. That was what I needed; when she got back, I would just start putting distance between her and me. It was a dumb plan, thinking it would work since we lived in the same apartment and our rooms were twelve feet away from one another.

And then she came home without warning.

She cried; the only time I had seen her come close to crying was when Luke talked about our parents. Otherwise, she was always in control of her emotions. I stood in the entryway of our apartment holding her, and even though she was crying, I never wanted to let her go. I had an excuse to be able to have my arms around her. To hold her and be able to feel like I was helping her one way or another.

Eventually, after there were no more tears to cry, I grab a pint of her favorite chocolate mint ice cream out of the freezer and sit down next to her on the couch. Her legs were curled up underneath her, a blanket wrapped around her. She looked small and fragile.

"I'm sorry you were by yourself when you found out."

She grabbed the ice cream out of my hands.

"Daisy was with me. I just couldn't tell her what had happened."

I had never thought to call Daisy and ask her why Ren had to go back to Ohio.

"The night I found out my parents... I thought it was a joke." I said to her.

She frowned. "Believe it or not, I thought my mom just told me that to get me to come home. We haven't talked since I left Ohio. The last time I talked to my dad was in our kitchen. He told me he loved me and that I could do anything." She swirled her spoon around in the container, thinking about something. "You played basketball?" Her eyes lingered over to mine, and I could see the curiosity she held in them.

"Yeah" It was a distant memory.

"I hear you were kind of a big shot."

I smiled. "I was. I haven't touched a basketball since that night."

"Why not?" She asked, sitting up, letting her feet hit the floor, turning to look squarely at me.

"I blamed myself. I blamed basketball. My teammates did not understand. I quit hanging out with that preppy jock crowd and became this."

She picked at my black shirt and let it drop. "I would have paid to see preppy Ryder. My father loved basketball. You know it's not your fault they died, just like it's not my fault my father died."

I stared down at her. "Why would it have been your fault?"

She shrugged. "Just something my mom said to me. About leaving and killing him. I think when someone dies, it's just easier to blame it on someone or something makes the grieving...." She stood apparently done with the conversation.

Her voice had made it seem like she had gone through all of this before. I wanted to ask her, but I couldn't when I saw the sadness in her eyes. I just wanted to take the pain away.