Charlotte's Story

Sham of a Life

Renee's POV:

Everything was back to normal. Or back to how my life was before I had left, even though every morning I still wake up knowing something is different in my life, no matter how hard I tried to forget that it will never be the same.

"Ren," Ryder had called to me; he was in the living room while I was studying in my room. He had tried to get me to go to an action movie an hour earlier. I jump off the bed, getting ready to protest going to a movie, even though I feel like caving now.

Standing in the doorway with a small suitcase is Chad. "Um...  Chad?" Ryder's eyes stay focus on him. He had never asked who Chad was in my life, but he was about to find out.

"Ren?" Chad looks at me, questioning the nickname. Chad had always called me Renee.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, walking up standing next to Ryder, my arms folded over my chest.

"Surprising you," he walks over, picking me up while hugging me; my feet were dangling in the air. Chad was an inch taller than Ryder, and as far as who had the bigger muscles, it was a close one. I stay limp in Chad's arms until he sets me back down on the ground.

"Okay?" I look at Ryder. His eyes are zoomed in on Chad's arms wrapped around my waist, holding me to his side. "Why didn't you call?"

"Then it wouldn't be a surprise... I figured I could crash in your room all week, you could show me the sites, I could see why you picked Maine. Your mom gave me your address" It was the old Chad standing talking to me, like if we were still boyfriend and girlfriend.

"Um... " I say, not knowing what to say or do. Ryder walks over, sitting down turning the football game volume up louder.

"Sweet. What is the score?" Chad asks Ryder handing his bag over to me.

Ryder mumbles out the score and turns the volume up louder.

Chad sleeps on the floor that night in my room. "You don't want to go out to a bar? or anything?" he asks. It was ten at night on a Friday. I had thrown him a blanket and a pillow; he looked at the floor and then back up to me, hinting at me letting him sleep in my bed with me.

It was the same look he gave me in high school when he wanted me to stay over at his house instead of returning home. I had never caved; maybe he wondered if the new me would allow him to climb in under the covers. That wasn't going to happen. Luke was going to be at my house bright and early.

Josh had been working weekends, and I gladly volunteered to hang out with him.

"No."

"Your roommate seems...."

"Just go to bed, Chad," I cut in, not wanting to hear his thoughts on Ryder. I didn't need to know what he thought about my roommate. Earlier in the day, when Ryder had stepped into his room to take a phone call, Chad had made his feelings clear.

"Who is that guy?" Chad asks as soon as the door clicks.

"Ryder, my roommate."

Chad's eyes go wide. "You have a guy roommate?"

"Yes," I was painting my nails a deep shade of purple.

"Are you sure that is safe?"

I shrug "he hasn't tried anything" Chad's eyes fill with horror.

"Yet... He hasn't tried anything yet. We should think about looking for a new apartment for you."

"I like the apartment, and I like having Ryder as a roommate. I'm safer with him than without him" Ryder would protect me if someone broke in; the day after I had gotten back from Ohio, there was a crash noise after we had gone to bed, a few seconds later, my bedroom door was thrown open, and the light turned on. The culprit of the crash was a vase in the living room. Ryder's eyes searched the room frantically, his eyes adjusting to the light; his body relaxed after he saw I was underneath my cover. 

The door bangs shut, I wake up startled, looking at my alarm clock that reads 1:02 A.M. Chad jumps up off of the floor, "What is that?"

A giggle comes from the other side of my door, but Chad already has the door opened. The lights are on when we step out to the living room. Ryder has a brunette chick under his arm. He is kissing her neck as he walks her slowly to his room.

"Well, I guess you guys are strictly platonic" Chad was clearly happy that he did not have to worry about Ryder and I being an item.

Ryder stops mid-step, hearing Chad speak, and looks over to us. He sees Chad standing in front of me in his boxers and no shirt on. His eyes darken, and then he smiles and winks at me; he picks the girl up and lets her straddle his front as he walks her to his room.

I do not sleep. Not a wink; Chad is snoring ten minutes later while I lay in bed believing that my life sucks.

April  30, 2010
Title: Sham of a Life
Writer: Charlotte

Maybe everything is a sham. Maybe I have no clue who to fall for.
Maybe I am still too young.
Maybe I do not know anything.
Maybe all the signs were saying no when I thought they were saying yes.
Maybe... I will just never know.
Maybe there are too many "maybes" in this World.
Maybe I do not know a damn thing.

- Charlotte