𝐁𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐓𝐨𝐝𝐨 - (𝒞𝒽𝑒𝒶𝓉𝑒𝓇)

𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝟒

Oi." Bakugou's gruff voice splintered the web of thought that Todoroki had spun around himself. "Oi. You done zoning out?" Todoroki nodded. "Then when was the last time you cut?"

This morning. "About a month ago," Todoroki muttered with his typical insouciance. "I just get self-conscious about the scars. The bandages don't do much when you think about it, but knowing the scars are covered puts me more at ease, I guess. But I'm not taking them off. It would be like rubbing salt into the wound." He rested his head against Bakugou's chest to listen to the cadence of the ash-blonde's heartbeat.

Bakugou cautiously massaged around Todoroki's neck and shoulders. "'Kay... Fair enough. But why didn't you tell me? I had no fucking idea that you had all this going on... You seemed like you were fine, but obviously, you weren't. Didn't you say I could tell you anything, so I told you that you could tell me anything?"

"How was I supposed to bring it up?" Todoroki sibilated in a splenetic growl. "What, bluntly tell you, 'Katsuki, I want to fucking die.' 'Katsuki, I have depression, and the way I deal with that is by slitting my wrists.' Would you tell that to my face? I didn't think so. Wouldn't you rather have to not deal with someone else's problems? I hate talking about it, and I didn't want to drag you into something I did to myself that therefore makes it my problem alone. I don't want anyone to look at me or treat me differently because of the connotations of those fucking epithets. 'Cutter.' I hate that...no matter how true it is. I just want to be seen as and treated as a person, even if it means throwing away my veracity. Now that you know the truth, what do you think of me? How do I make you feel?"

Ensnared in a dither, Bakugou bit his lower lip. "Tch. No matter what you supposedly do to yerself, that doesn't mean you have to live with the burden alone and bottle everything up. But I feel fucking ashamed. All this time, I thought you were happy. I thought I knew you. I feel awful for everything. I feel terrible for you. But have you ever considered gettin' some help?" He held Todoroki a bit tighter.

"A prime example of what I didn't want," Todoroki murmured while intertwining his hand with Bakugou's. "You shouldn't have to feel like that because of me. I don't want to be someone you treat well...just because I'm just that worthless. I don't want the awkward sympathy. I don't want you to pity me when you think of me or when you see me. Now, when you think of me, you probably feel bad and think about the depressing things I told you. I just wanted you to keep treating me like you used to. But I'm fine, Katsuki. I don't need help. I feel fine now, but I wasn't fine before. I really wanted to die... But I'm past that. I'm not at my lowest point anymore. I'm okay now. So...tell me why you cheated on me." He gently kissed Bakugou's warm, bare chest.

Every time I think about trying to leave this relationship, I remember how he makes me feel. How his touch feels. How he feels. But I just want him to be mine, like that's how it was all supposed to go. My cheater and my mistakes.

Bakugou ran his hands from Todoroki's shoulders to his waist while contemplating on how to respond. "Look... At first, I was pissed, and I just needed to talk to someone. I really fucking needed someone to talk to, or else I would've exploded. I didn't know what the hell to do when I got the news about my parents, so I talked to Shitty Hair, and he was so fucking understanding and kind. You wouldn't talk to me, so I talked to him...and then, things escalated over time. I just felt so betrayed and hurt by how you didn't pick up that night after all the times I called you and texted you. I shouldn't have let my kiss with him escalate. After all he'd fucking done for me, I couldn't say no. The relationship just grew from there. I loved him. I was getting ready to break up with you, and I was gonna do it today, but... After hearing your side of the story, I realize how fucking blind I was. I love you, Shouto..."