The Baron's Soldier

Chapter Six

Zemo went to his room, and got in his bed. He laid still staring up at the ceiling. He could hear the sound of the television in the living room for about another hour before he heard Bucky turn it off, and go to his room. Alpine was sitting beside Zemo. He'd been petting her, and thinking. Thinking all sorts of negative thoughts.
Why does James like me, even as a friend? And why does he care so much? Samuel too...I don't deserve their kindness, or trust. I shouldn't trust them. I came here looking for James, why? Because I feel for him, and he is the only one I can trust. No I don't feel a thing for him, and Can I really trust him? Zemo sat up, and placed his hands on his head. I can't. He refused to kill me at the memorial, why? Why would he do that? To prove to me he isn't a killing machine, maybe. But I used him as one, he wants revenge, like I did. He must. That's why he didn't kill me, and why he refused last night. He wants me to trust him, to believe he isn't built for killing.
He knows that life is more of a punishment than death. I thought I didn't want to die? That's why I ran from that man in the alley, right? But I miss them, I miss my son...I want to die...I want to be with my wife again. I can't trust James. When I let my guard down he would hurt me...like they did...on the raft...Once again the tears were falling. Zemo stepped out of bed. He walked out to the living room. Should I leave? He asked himself. Eyes darting back, and forth between the front door, and the balcony. He'll hear. He couldn't take the sudden paranoia, and fled into the kitchen. Zemo pulled open the drawers, there must be something he could use to defend himself. He grabbed hold of a steak knife.
  Alpine, who'd been following him around this entire time, ran to Bucky's room. She jumped onto his chest, waking him instantly. He winced.
"Hey, what's wrong?" Bucky said softly, before he heard the sound of silverware clacking together. What is he doing? A sense of dread washed over Bucky. He thought back to the other night, and the scars on Zemo's wrists. Shit! Bucky jumped up, and spun on his heels to leave his room, only to stop dead in his tracks when he saw Zemo's dark figure in the hallway. He reached over into the bathroom, to his left, and flipped on the light switch.
With the hallway now slightly illuminated, Bucky could see Zemo clearly. He looked like a scared wild animal, stopped in the headlights of a truck. Bucky immediately spotted the knife.
"Zemo?" Bucky swallowed hard.
"What are you doing?"
"I-I" his voice shook.
"I've changed my mind. I...I'm going to kill you!"
"Zemo, please. I know how you feel about super soldiers, but I didn't choose this for myself."
"I-I know, but if I don't, what will happen to me?"
"Nothing, you'll stay here with me, and we live our lives like normal ass people! Unless you want to move out then that's fine." Bucky said firmly. What the hell is going on with him? Bucky watched Zemo, trying to take in as much information as he could.
"What do you think is going to happen?"
"You will keep me here, and hurt me! I know this is all just your revenge plan!"
"Revenge? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Because I used you!"
"I know, I'm well aware of what happened, and why! I told you I'm not angry about it, or anything. I forgive you, why can't you accept that?"
"Because you're lying! That's why you didn't kill me in sokovia! You wanted me to suffer!" Zemo lifted his arms, now Pointing the steak knife at Bucky.
"Zemo..." Bucky wasn't sure what to say. Nothing he's saying is true, or even making sense! He's losing it. What should I do?
"Zemo, listen to me." Bucky said in a low voice.
"I would never hurt you. Do you really believe the things you're saying, or are you just looking for a reason to die?" I'm calling doctor Raynor first thing in the morning. Bucky thought. I just need to get him out of this delusion, or whatever is going on with him. Bucky looked Zemo in the eyes. Zemo caught his gaze, and noted that Bucky was equally hurt. What am I doing? Zemo asked himself. James, he didn't choose to become a super soldier, I know this. Then why am I acting this way? Because I can't trust him. No, I'm lying to myself. I just want to die. He's right...I'm looking for an excuse to die.
"I told you I am a coward." Zemo said, tears still falling steadily.
"And I told you, you're wrong. You are not a coward. Please put the knife down." Bucky sighs inwardly. He's hyped himself up with lies to attack me, hoping I would kill him.
"Zemo, I'm not going to kill you, no matter what you say, or tell yourself. No matter how much you provoke me. I won't do it."
"Fine." Zemo smiles softly. Bucky breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled in return. Zemo's smile quickly shifted for a smirk, when he turned the knife on himself, plunging in directly into the already existing wound.
"No, don't!" Bucky shouted, closing the distance between them in seconds; and was on his knees beside Zemo, who'd fallen onto his own. Bucky caught him as he fell back.
"Damn it, Zemo! What hell were you thinking!" Bucky shouted, and thought back to the day at the coffee shop, when Zemo was hurt, and fought for his life. What have I done? Bucky was thinking it had to be his fault somehow. Zemo wanted to live when he was shot, and was fine the past few days. This is about that dream. It had to have triggered something in Zemo to bring him back to a suicide attempt. Maybe even the shock of being pardoned. Tears fell from Bucky's eyes. Zemo blinked his eyes, feeling Bucky's tears hit his face. James? He's crying?
"James..." Zemo cried out softly.
"I'm here, I'm going to call an ambulance." Bucky laid Zemo down gently, and ran to his room for his phone. He picked it up, dialing 911, as he ran back to Zemo's side.
"911 what is your emergency?"
"Yes, Hello! This is Sergeant James Barenes! I need an ambulance immediately!" Bucky was almost shouting into the phone. Sergeant. Zemo watched Bucky, smiling softly, genuinely. I've never heard him call himself by his rank, or first name before. Zemo thought as Bucky told the dispatcher what was happening, and gave his location.
"Okay." Bucky turned the phone on speaker, as the dispatcher told him she would remain on the line with him, but also to keep talking to Zemo.
"Hey, an ambulance is coming, we're going to the hospital, okay, everything is going to be fine."
What have I done? Zemo immediately recognized the look on Bucky's face. He was terrified, he was going to lose someone he cared for deeply. This is familiar. He thought about sokovia, and how he felt when pulled his wife's mangled Corpse from the rubble. He'd put Bucky in the same situation, twice now.
"James, I'm sorry." Zemo groaned as some tears fell from the corner of his eyes.
"I'm sorry." I don't want to die!
"It's okay. Well it's not okay, I'm very upset! Don't ever do anything like this again! Do you hear me!" Bucky cried, and shouted. Zemo nodded.
"James! I don't want to die! I want to stay with you!"
"You're going to!"
"I'm just scared, James!"
"Don't be scared, you're going to be okay." Bucky said, noting Zemo's hands still firmly gripping the knife in his stomach. Zemo shook his head.
"I'm not scared to die, I'm scared..." his voice began to trail off, and his vision began to fade.
"Zemo!" Bucky gently peeled Zemo's hands away from the knife.
"Zemo!" Bucky noticed Zemo's eyes glazing over, and he didn't respond.
"Zemo!" Bucky shook him Gently.
"Helmut!" His voice was frantic as Zemo was no longer conscious
                                    ~
Zemo was taken out of the apartment on a stretcher. The little old woman across the way, opened her door a crack.
"James What's going on?" She asked softly. Bucky looked at her, teary eyed, with Zemo's blood on his hands. He couldn't answer now, so he turned, and followed the EMT's to the ambulance. He sat down, watching as they frantically worked to keep Zemo from dying, while the siren blared, as the ambulance pulled away from the building, and sped towards the hospital. Once they pulled up to the emergency room doors, they rushed Zemo into the hospital. Bucky followed quickly all the way up to the point, Zemo was wheeled into the ICU. A doctor stopped him.
"Mr. Barnes, I'm sorry, but only staff beyond this point. He will be alright, take a seat out here. We'll come get you soon." He said before retreating through the doors. Bucky stood there, for a solid minute, before pulling his phone out. He paced back, and forth, as he called Sam.
"Buck? Do you know what time it is?"
"Yeah, I'm sorry I know it's late."
"It's actually early, like super early! The sun ain't even up yet!"
"I know, I'm at the hospital."
"Why, what's going on?"
"Zemo, he-he." Bucky started to cry again.
"What?" Sam asked, the concern clear in his voice.
"Can you just come up here? Please, Sam. I'm freaking out, I don't know what to do."
"Yeah, I'll be right there."
                                    ~
Sam pulled into the parking lot of the emergency room.
"Did he say what happened?" Sarah asked from the passenger seat.
"No, but he sounded completely panicked." Sam sighs, finding a parking spot, and pulling the car in.
"Did he say who was hurt?" Sarah asked as she stepped out of the car.
"No, but I'll bet, Zemo betrayed him, and ran." Sam sighs.
"And after all that negotiating for his pardon."
"So you think Bucky's hurt? Can he even actually, you know, get hurt?" 
"Yes, Steve ended up in the hospital plenty of times, but their bodies heal faster than ours. He's probably just freaking out because Zemo did exactly what I warned Bucky he'd do." Sam explained as they entered the hospital. The siblings approached the front desk.
"Good evening Mr. Wilson, Sergeant Barnes is waiting for you in the waiting room." The receptionist pointed at a pair of doors leading to the emergency rooms waiting area. So it's not Bucky. Sam thought, getting an 'I told you so' look from Sarah. He ignored it, and the two walked through the doors.
"Sam!" Bucky jumped up, and stepped hastily over to them.
"Bucky what's going on?" Sam asked.
"Zemo, he..." Bucky lowered his voice more.
"He tried to kill himself." Bucky almost couldn't bring himself to say it.
"Fuck, man I-I'm sorry." Sam hugged Bucky immediately.
"I just don't understand." Bucky said, trying not to cry anymore. Sam let go after giving Bucky a gentle squeeze.
"Well, he's been through a lot, just like you."
"I know." Buck nods. He knew Sam was right, Zemo wasn't going to just get over everything overnight. I took things too fast. Bucky thought. I shouldn't have asked about a date, so suddenly when he's still mourning his family...I know there is more to it then that too. Bucky sighed inwardly.
"Thanks for coming guys. I was panicking, I still am. I have no idea if he's okay."
"He's Zemo, he'll be alright. He gets out of pretty much any situation."
"Yeah." Bucky managed a smile
"It's gonna be okay, baby." Sarah smiled reassuringly, and placed a gentle hand on Bucky's shoulder. The three sat down, and waited patiently. Sam eventually fell asleep in the chair, while Sarah, and Bucky talked about whatever they could to distract themselves.
"How was the flight?"
"Scary." Sarah laughed lightly.
"Sam said you weren't fond of flying."
"No, especially when there's turbulence."
"Yeah, that's never fun." Bucky laughed softly.
"What did the boys think?"
"They had fun, while I was panicking." Sarah laughed again at the thought of it.
"They're at Sam's now sleeping, Torres was nice enough to stay over, and watch them." Sarah explained.
"Sam let Torres watch the boys?"
"Why? Was that a bad idea?"
"No, he's a good kid. I'm sure they're having the time of their lives with him. Playing video games, eating pizza, or something."
"I see." She smiled.
"Might as well have let the Parker boy babysit." Bucky jokes.
"You mean Peter?"
"Yeah." He laughs softly, waking Sam who was incredibly uncomfortable sleeping there. 
"Any news yet?" He asked, as if he knew a nurse was about to approach them.
"Sergeant Barnes, we're ready for you." She said, Bucky nodded, and stood up. He glanced over his shoulder at Sam, and Sarah, both of them nodded. Bucky followed the nurse back to the room Zemo was placed in.
"He's stable, and in no danger of dying. However he's not going to be discharged, until you've called him a therapist. The first reason being, the suicide attempt, the second being his pardon, if you don't have one for him, by the end of the day tomorrow, we'll have no choice, but to let the government take him." She explained. Bucky nodded.
"I've already got one in mind."
"Very good. If he wakes up in pain, please let me know. That will unfortunately leave a mark. We noted there was already scar tissue in the area, as well from a recent injury, and surgery. I can't say for certain, but that could cause future complications."
"I understand." Bucky sighs.
"Would you like me to bring the Wilson's back?"
"Yes please, they'll want to know he's alright." Bucky nodded.
"Yes, sir." She left the room. Bucky sighed to himself again, and took Zemo's hand in his. The nurse returned with Sam, and Sarah. The two were relieved to see Zemo was going to make it. Bucky thanked them again, and hugged them.
"Let's us know when he wakes up." Sam said.
"Of course." Bucky smiled, as the two left, then gave his undivided attention to zemo.